Early signs of the week three blahs....

Yesterday, Amanda had a headache for most of the day and when she would get up, it would get worse.  She said it was the kind she always gets and not a new headache.  That did little to ease my mind.   She woke up today, headache free and has been feeling good, just very tired.  Each day, at times, feels like a new test of faith and endurance for all of us.  Some days are definitely easier than others.

With how Amanda has felt today, I feel like her week three blahs are already on the way.  They seem to be a little early!  Let's pray that I am wrong and that we have the opportunity to enjoy the beautiful weekend ahead.

I attended a women's conference a few months back called 'IFGathering.'  At one point the question was asked "If God is real - then what?" The phrase immediately snagged my attention and has recently been rolling around my head.  Because, you see, we have tested the if question and I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is real.  I have leaned upon, pushed against and wrestled with the promises and truths in the Word of God and have personally found that He is real, loving and faithful.  For me, part of the answer to the then what question is this blog.  Because God is real, we want to share our story hoping to show that in the face of cancer, it is possible to glorify God while trusting Him in His perfect plan for Amanda's life.

A song that I have mentioned in a post recently, "Oceans, (Where Feet May Fail)" has a part that says:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior 

Those words so perfectly fit what this journey has been like for me, 'cause friend, we are out there - in the deep where our trust in God has to be completely wide open.  Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that in the middle of this trial when I am at the moment of heartbreak, would I actually experience the strongest presence and peace of my Savior.  This life is so painful that at moments it steals my breath and the worry and fear wash over me in waves.  Yet at the same time, and this is what is so incredibly beautiful to me, my faith has never been as real to me as it has been in this past year.  At those moments of panic, I depend and trust on God's strength.  This journey has brought me closer to who my Savior is and how much he loves me.  Every morning that I wake up I know the only way I will face the day and all that it may bring is because of God's grace and mercy.

And every morning I still pray for a miracle.

Isaiah 43:1-3
 But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
    he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.