Day Four - almost to Day five....

Today was another rough day for Amanda.  She has continued to feel weak and puny, with her throat and stomach hurting her.  While these are not new symptoms, it is still hard to see her feeling so bad. We were able to end the evening on a nice note with a picnic dinner in our backyard and an early Mother's Day celebration. 

Day four is complete and done, thankfully.  Tomorrow we are all looking forward to day five and the completion of chemo for cycle 11.

On days like today, when I feel frustrated and helpless, it always helps me to look back and see how God has blessed us so much over the past 14 months.  As I look back and remember where we were a year ago, I stand amazed at where we are today.  

This was my post from a year ago:
I have been talking a lot about reality versus the “sweet denial” we had for the first few weeks.  As we read that email this morning from Dr. Brown, I had the realization that this is just going to be our new normal – heart-stopping symptoms, possible hospital admittance, scans, labs and blood draws.  Of course, during that moment, I just kept thinking, “None of this is a surprise to God.  Trust His plan.”   It is important for me to stop here and point out that just because my head is telling me that, it doesn’t stop my heart from breaking, the tears from coming, or my fears and anxieties to surface and worry about Amanda.  What that does is simply give me the assurance of who is really in control.   It is not the amazing nurses and doctors, not the medication or high-tech treatments that are available – it is God Almighty, who created the heavens and the earth, who walked this earth as a man and calmed the storm with the sound of his voice and raised the dead - He is the one that is in complete control.  That helps me keep things in perspective. 

At this time last year, we were finishing up the first phase of her treatment - a combination of radiation and chemotherapy.   We have come so far in this journey and been through so much.  Not much has really changed - I still struggle with the emotional ups and downs, and God is still in complete control.  

Philippians 4:4-8
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.