Since early December, we went back to New Mexico and spent Christmas in Cloudcroft, have been to the Double A Ranch in Uvalde twice, enjoyed watching Brandon improve in basketball this season and started tiling the floor in our house. I have thoroughly enjoyed being involved in the women’s ministry at Crestview helping organize our first simulcast of the IF:Gathering, recently attending a You Lead training conference through Lifeway and the Beth Moore event in Waco. Add to that Tom’s work schedule and settling into the routine in his new position along with all the second semester activities at Grace and we have been staying busy!
If we were sitting down for coffee, you might ask me how my new quest for joy is going….and to be honest; I would have to tell you it’s been bumpy. Safe to say that is not a surprise at all because that’s probably a challenge for most of us.
In Galatian 5, Paul writes about the Fruit of the Spirit. I remember when Brandon and Amanda memorized Galatian 5:22-23. It was incredible to hear their sweet young voices recite those verses:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
After I decided to live with joy, I began to think about the other listed and have tried to focus on different ones during my days. How hard is to live with gentleness as my primary focus? If not gentleness, what about loving people as they are and in ways that make a difference to them no matter what? I haven’t gotten anywhere near being satisfied with my results, but nevertheless, it has been a very enlightening exercise in my normal routine. So I will continue to work on and through each trait listed with the goal of simply doing my best at whatever I put my heart into.
I dreamed of Amanda a couple of weeks ago. The next day, I was sharing the dream with a about how realistic the dream was - I could hear Amanda’s voice, smell her hair, and feel her as we cuddled and slept in late together – it was so incredibly real I hated to wake up. A few days before I had read the beginning of Caring Bridge all the way to Easter weekend, so I think my dream was tied to that. Reading my posts reminded me of so many daily details I had forgotten. Particularly how upset Amanda was about going to see all her cousins and not being able to play with them like she used to. She made a comment about how she missed playing basketball with Brandon in the backyard because it was her favorite thing to do…….oh what a sweet memory to share with Brandon as he was in the final weeks of basketball! As I was tearfully pouring all this out to my friend as we sat together in my office, she proclaimed, “Sandy, God is so good!” She went on to say that we had always known the blog was being used by God as we shared our story with those who read it, but now, she pointed out, God was blessing me with the blog by allowing to me to be reminded of those special memories I would have otherwise forgotten as time passed. God is indeed good.
At the conference in Waco, Beth Moore said this , “Those past experiences that God redeems are a part of my everyday life, even when I don’t speak about them.” I couldn’t agree more. My past will always be a part of my daily life and in my thoughts. That is not saying that I am living in the past, but merely understanding that my past has made me who I am today and it is important. I am incredibly thankful for my past and I will pray that God will continue to daily redeem it and use it for His glory in His time.
I think it is safe to say that I have not found my groove yet on writing regularly again, so whether it be a week or another month before I’m back, choose joy!
