Day Three - Cycle Eight

Isaiah 43:1-3

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

(Day three already! We came home from the doctors on Tuesday and by that evening I was in bed, sick.  Today I feel a little better, but I am sure you can imagine my panic over exposing Amanda to anything after we have worked so hard to keep her away from illness. Thankfully, Thomas has been home, so I have been able to be quarantined to our room and stay away from Amanda.)   

We serve an amazing God.  

 

Tuesday, I was numb, almost in a daze after we had received the news.  I think at one point in the doctor's office, I broke down in tears, simply overwhelmed.  Thanks to today's technology, we were able to quickly share the news and in turn, received messages from family and friends who were rejoicing, shouting and crying out praises to God, and yet I felt numb.  

Don't get me wrong, I was full of thanksgiving and joy, awe and wonder at the visual proof of answered prayer.  But at the same time, I sat there watching my daughter lying in the bed, connected to an IV that was pumping her full of medication, trying to make sure that we kill every last cancer cell in her body and I felt a mixture of emotions.  Our battle is not over yet, but Praise God, we have so much to be thankful for.

Once we were home Tuesday afternoon and Amanda was settled in bed, Tom and I sat across from each other and marveled at the news.  This was what we have prayed for over the last 11 months.  Isn't it hard to believe it has been that long?  In fact, Monday, it was exactly 11 months since we walked into the Dell emergency room with Amanda.   

I looked at Tom and asked, "Why do I feel in shock and why am I not shouting for joy?"  I could tell he was in a similar place, but he was able to give a great explanation of where we were emotionally.  It was something like this:  In a battle, the men fighting the enemy are deep in the trenches, day in and day out.  They have seen more than they want to see while perhaps even wounded from the battle.  They are exhausted and tired of it all.  Then victory is declared, yet they find themselves still at the front lines of the battle.  Everyone back home is celebrating, shooting off fireworks and throwing jubilant parties, but the soldiers aren't able to abandon the trenches yet.  Oh, they are relieved and even joyful of the victory, but the men in battle still have a ways to go before they can fully embrace the victory......and that is a wonderful example of how I feel: still in the trenches.  

Having said that, I must also assure you of this.  There is plenty of rejoicing and for me a sense of wonder at how awesome it is to personally experience this answered prayer and to have the ability to share our journey with so many people.  What a blessing to know that you are out there rejoicing with us and continuing to pray for Amanda.

We serve an amazing God.  I simply can't say it enough and I can not wait to see what else He has in store for our family and our daughter as we continue down this path.

Amanda is in day three of cycle eight.  After this cycle, we have four more cycles to go, with probably two more MRIs during that time frame.   Praise God that she is having a good week with minimal side effects. 

God is so good.

Father in Heaven, I come to you with a heart that is overflowing with thanksgiving.  You have sustained us through the darkest hours and covered us with your peace and comfort.  Thank you for blessing us with friends and family that rejoice with us, cry with us and call out to you on our behalf in our times of need.  Please continue to work in Amanda's life and completely heal her.  Please give her the strength and courage to finish strong. May her life may be a living testimony of your healing mercies.  I ask that you continue to give her medical teams wisdom and discernment in her treatment and I thank you for the brothers and sisters in Christ we have met along the way.   I am truly humbled by your goodness, love and mercy.   In Jesus name, Amen.

That miracle I have been praying for...

"Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today......The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."  Exodus 14:13-14

Remember that miracle that we have been praying for?  You know, the one where Amanda is healed and that the tumor is dead?  Today, God answered our prayers.  As of today, according to Dr. Harrod, there is "NO SIGN OF AN ACTIVE TUMOR!!!" 

Just let that set in for a minute.  I know that it is still soaking in for me.

Amanda will continue her chemotherapy treatment plan and she still has physical repercussions from the tumor that we will be dealing with for the unforeseen future, but by golly, we are beating this disease!  There are areas of her brain stem that were damaged by the tumor that the doctors will continuing to monitor, but even those areas are showing the improvement they want to see.  (That part is way beyond my ability to understand much less relay it here on the blog - so you will just have to take my word for it!)  "NO SIGN OF AN ACTIVE TUMOR!!!"

Living in the moment, there is nothing but pure joy and praise.  We are humbled to proclaim the victory and give all glory to our Lord and Savior.  I am standing in awe of His mercy and grace.

Amanda is walking proof that God hears us, He answers our prayers, and only He numbers our days. 

She is home, tucked in bed, worn out and a little groggy from the infusions this morning.  I am about to crawl in bed next to her to relax and cuddle.  This emotional roller coaster is exhausting.  So as we enter cycle number eight out of twelve, please pray that Amanda will have a smooth week of chemotherapy, both physically and emotionally.

We are so grateful for each one of you.  Thank you for your prayers, and please keep them coming. This journey is not over yet!

1 Chronicles 29:11
Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all.

MRI Results are in!

"Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today......The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."  Exodus 14:13-14

I just wanted to give a quick update on Amanda's MRI results, since many of you shared that you were indeed waiting with anticipation for the results.  Well, good news - her scans look awesome.  And that is a direct quote from the doctor!  All praise and glory to God. 

We are currently in one of the crash rooms (wish they had different names for these private rooms!) since she was given such a large dose of benedryl she is in a bed. All the medication is making her loopy. :)

That's all I have for now, just wanted to share the good news! 

Tomorrow is finally here!

"Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today......The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."  Exodus 14:13-14

This morning I opened the blog to write a post, and I was completely blank.  I had nothing.  Surprising, isn't it?  So I started cleaning house, working on laundry, finding warm clothes for today's Romeo visit......all the while this empty page stared back at me.

I find myself not knowing what to say about tomorrow.  I have no doubt that many of you are praying for tomorrow's results.  I almost feel like some of you are sitting on the edge of your seat right beside me, waiting, hoping and praying for fabulous results.

Every MRI we have seen since she has begun treatment has been positive, and I have no reason to believe it will be any different tomorrow.  We might even see that miracle I have been praying for since we received the news on February 27, 2013.  Then again, we may not.  Fear not tomorrow, God is already there.

The days have gone by quicker than I imagined they would.  Tom and I are finding that the four weeks in between the chemo medication tend to do that.  We finish one round of chemo, and before you know it, we are preparing for the next round.

Amanda is doing very well.  She conserves her energy when needed but still tries to stay active.  We were able to make both morning and evening services at church and I'm so glad we did.  Both services were amazing.  It was a blessing to be there and worship with our church family.

Despite the cold and wind, Amanda went to spend some time with Romeo today.  With tomorrow's appointment and Amanda starting chemo, she may not ride at all this week, so getting "Romeo time" was important to her.  We finished the day off by feeding and here we are, getting ready to wind down our evening.

Tomorrow's appointment will be a long one.  We are meeting with the Neuro/Onc teams, receiving the scan results and if her counts are good, she will start chemo.  She will receive her infusions of Avastin, antibiotic and fluids.  With the antibiotic, she also gets the heavy dose of Benedryl.   She will then start her chemo medication tomorrow night at home for five days. Brandon doesn't usually go with us to her appointments, but he wants to be there tomorrow since we will receive the scan results.  I don't blame the boy.  If I was in his place, I wouldn't want to be sitting in a class wondering at the results.   We are so grateful to our Grace family for their continued love and support.

I am praying for a good night's sleep tonight and for calm spirits, strength and courage to face  tomorrow. 

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

Getting Romeo ready

Just an easy walk out in the sunshine and wind.

Finally, Romeo was able to enjoy some of the green grass as a snack.

Great occupational therapy right here - playing Nerds!

Here comes the weekend.....

Walk by Faith by Jeremy Camp

Would I believe You when You say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Well I will walk by faith

Even when I cannot see 

 Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With the one breath You make me
Your grace covers all I do

Well I will walk by faith
Oh even when I cannot see it
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Well I'm broken, but I still see Your face
Well You've spoken, pouring Your words of grace

Well I will walk by faith
Oh even when I cannot see it
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

As we find ourselves still waiting for Tuesday, I am doing my best to keep my heart in a state of worship while I wait.  That is easier said than done at times, so in comes the music to keep my thoughts where they should be. From contemporary songs like the one above to the classical hymns of faith such as 'Be Still My Soul', God speaks through the music and calms me with His love.

 

The Lord your God is in your midst,
    a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
    he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

MRI done - check!

Today was overall our smoothest MRI appointment to date.  We arrived around 6:45 a.m., they called us back a little after 7:00 and from there it was a flurry of motion as they checked us in and got her prepped for the MRI.  For whatever reason, our appointment was bumped up so they were on warp speed getting her back.  I would much rather experience that than the opposite!

We had a familiar MRI nurse, which is always a treat, then Tom and I passed Dr. George in the hallway as we were headed to recovery to see Amanda.  He shared that he would not be at her appointment on Tuesday, so it was nice to have the opportunity to briefly visit with him.  Once we got to recovery, our favorite nurse was there waiting with Amanda to see us.  It is hard to put into words how seeing familiar faces help make the day a little bit easier.  Plus, Beth (the charge nurse in recovery) knows exactly how Amanda responds coming out of anesthesia and always has her nurse prepped with what to expect. 

As always, all the staff at Dell was wonderful with not only Amanda, but also me and Tom as we went through what is coming to be a "routine" appointment.  Ugh, I never imagined an MRI would ever be called routine.

I can't believe I managed to do this, but I forgot that our last MRI was in September and not July!  I realize that in itself is not a big deal.  However, as Tom was talking to the anesthesiologist today about how well she did last time in recovery because of the type of anesthesia that was used and asked if it could be used again, they looked up her records and asked for the date of her last MRI.  You guessed it - I said the last MRI was back in July!  So they looked at the wrong date and unfortunately, her recovery coming out of anesthesia was not as smooth as it was last time and it has really wiped her out today.  A day in bed with Ginger, movies and taking it easy has been prescribed by Dr. Mom.  On top of it all, she is in that time in her chemo cycle when her counts drop and she feels more worn out, so it's almost a double whammy on her system. 

Despite being in recovery a little longer than her last MRI, it was still a quick morning and we were home by 10:30.  Amazing!

Again, thank you for all the texts, the messages and prayers this morning.  Amanda did great.  I'm glad we are past this step and one step closer to seeing those positive scans!

"Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today......The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."  Exodus 14:13-14

Tomorrow, MRI day

Monday was one of those days.  A day that you want to have seared into your memory; to have the memories forever burned in your mind so you never forget.  It was a near perfect day.  Between the beautiful weather, sweet surprises from Thomas, and swimming with Tom and the kids - it was simply a wonderful day.   All through the afternoon, time and time again I would silently pray, 'Dear God, please don't ever let me forget this moment.'  It was her laughter, his silliness, the fun of three plotting against one in the pool and on and on the afternoon went with so many moments of joy.  Fully living in the moment. I went to bed content, happy and peaceful.

Today was another good day. Amanda had her lesson at ROCK and math lessons. Today she rode Sherrie, the draft horse.  Ms. Judy has been working on convincing Amanda to give Sherrie a try, and today she just decided to go with it.  It was a surprise, but Amanda took it all in stride.  Amanda will get to ride only once this week and once next week due to doctor's appointments.  You can imagine her disappointment with that scheduling arrangement!

Today, she had a PT ride, so she may be very sore tomorrow, especially considering she was riding a draft horse.  I'm sure she stretched muscles that haven't been used in a awhile. :)  Here are some great pictures from today's ride.  Amanda was very animated and kept us all entertained.

Meet Sherrie!

I wish I knew what Amanda was thinking at this moment...

Our team today was Megan, a PT student that was working with Judy and our horse handler, Tamara.  What a great team!

Like I said, she was in some mood today...

You would think with a draft horse, she would have a broader surface to sit on.  Because it was a new experience, she wasn't as confident about some of the activities......as you can clearly see from her face expressions.

This one required her boots coming off...

I think this one is cute with her boots sitting in the middle.

I love this!  My champion.

Sweet Sherrie, the gentle giant.

Recently, I have come across two scriptures that have been personally encouraging and uplifting.  One I came across in a devotional, another is on a picture I have hanging in our dining room.  As I was writing a note to a friend, I wanted to include one of them.  I was looking one up and found out that the second verse that I like so much WAS IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH!  In fact, it is the very next verse! I found it amusing that I had never realized that before.

The verses are found in Exodus and in one of my favorite Old Testament stories - the crossing of the Red Sea.  As the Israelite people found themselves at the shores of the Red Sea, with the army of the Pharaoh closing in on them and the sea spread out before them, they were terrified.  Moses spoke to them saying, "Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today......The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." 

And there they are.  My two verses, back to back.  Everywhere I have turned in the last few days, I have been reminded to be content, to be still, not to worry about tomorrow, to stand firm and have joy.  I think God is trying to tell me something, and friend, I am listening!  As I think about it, I can't help but wonder if He has been preparing my heart for this upcoming week of waiting....

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

I have great peace and hope as we head to Dell tomorrow.  Thank you for all the encouraging notes and texts over the past few days.  I am touched by all the love and support you continue to show us in our long journey.

We appreciate your prayers tomorrow for Amanda to have courage, strength and peace as she goes through the morning.  

"Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today......The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."  Exodus 14:13-14

MRI week is here....

What a week.  First, the good things.  Amanda is feeling great.  We have now had two math lessons and she is still enjoying them. (Hallelujah!)  And we are in the middle of a three day weekend.

As hard as it is to believe, the MRI is upon us this week.  Generally, for most things, when we stay in a routine, they go smoother.  MRIs do not fall in that category.  Even when we are on schedule, they are still difficult.  Having gone this long (July was her last one) this may be quiet the challenge for my sweet girl on Wednesday, and I'm trying not to borrow trouble, just going off of past experiences.

It has been an emotional week for Team Watson for various reasons, and honestly, I am looking forward for these next two weeks to be over because I'm sure they too will be a little on the emotional side.  I'm ready to get the scans done and move on!  Amanda is doing so well across the board.  She is gaining weight, was cleared by her occupational therapist after six months, staying active and physical with no signs of set backs - all indications that we should see a great scan on the 28th.  That will be a full day for us.  Along with the scans, we will also see both Dr. Harrod and Dr. George, her neurosurgeon, and Amanda will also begin chemo (her EIGHTH cycle!!) that day.

Believe it or not, I've had a quiet day at home - ALONE.  The kids are with grandparents and Thomas had to work so the dogs and I were camped out on the couch watching football while I took care of some paperwork I have been putting off.   The evening ended with an awesome worship service - it's been a good day.

We were saying just the other day that it has now been over 10 months since Amanda's surgery.  Each time we have an MRI, I have wondered, "Is this the one? The one where we will see that God has erased the tumor? That tumor can officially be declared dead?"  While we have seen positive results, in fact, pretty  amazing results over the past ten months, it has not been the specific answered prayer I have been praying for.  So yesterday's devotional was an encouragement.  A call to arms, if you will. 

It is from "Streams in the Desert" - and is titled The Fiery Furnace.

It was this paragraph that grabbed me:
If there is a great trail in your life today, do not own it as a defeat, but continue, by faith, to claim the victory through him who is able to make you more than conqueror, and a glorious victory will soon be apparent.  Let us learn that in all the hard places God brings us in to, He is making opportunities for us to exercise such faith in Him as will bring about blessed results and greatly glorify His name.  -Life of Praise

So, that prayer for a miracle that I have been praying for over the last ten months is going to come more frequent and with more passion as we finish out these last four cycles.  Yes, it feels good to say that - FOUR cycles. 

I'm thankful this week is behind us and preparing and praying for the week before us.

James 1:2-6
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

A good appointment today

Just a quick update on today.  Since Amanda was going to miss her scheduled ride for today, Ms. Judy was able to have Amanda come out and do a little rehab work with Romeo this morning before her doctor's appointment.  Amanda loved that.  It gave her some much needed horse time today.

The appointment at Dr. Harrod's went very well.  All of her labs look good, both the infusion and shot went smoothly and Amanda stayed calm throughout the appointment.  She did great today!  We are officially half-way through cycle seven!

Romeo's rehab consists of a slow walk on level ground for 10 minutes.

 The great thing is that it is also wonderful exercise for Amanda as well!

The entrance gate to ROCK - the sign says "Healing Thru Horses"

After Romeo's walk, a little treat of grazing on green grass.

This right here is some great healing, if only I could bottle it up!

Philippians 4:19

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

A full, but pretty awesome day

Today has been a great day, but a busy one.  Amanda is feeling much better and getting some energy back, so that is definitely an improvement! 

Amanda ended up riding Dude today.  She had a great ride.  Before we left, we made sure to stop by and see Romeo.

After that, we grabbed lunch then we met with one of our former math teachers at Grace who is going to help Amanda with Math.  I finally faced the fact that trying to be all things was really starting to wear on me.  Having a set time, at another place with someone else teaching her is such a huge weight off my shoulders, and it is also good for Amanda.  Amanda simply adored her and said she really enjoyed the lesson!  Score!  So the plan is to give this a try for a few weeks and see if it works out for all involved.  I am praying that it will!

From there it was off to get Brandon early for a dental appointment, then straight to Liberty Hill for his basketball game.  Whew!  It was go, go, go!  The boys suffered their first loss tonight, but they did play hard.  Brandon will be looking for some redemption come Friday.  :)

Please pray for Amanda tomorrow as we go for her infusion.  It is an afternoon appointment, which gives her all day to dread it.  Thankfully, we think we might get a little Romeo time in the morning so that will be a huge boost for her spirits.

This is not my favorite topic to discuss, but I was asked the other day about donations for our family and clarification about the Caring Bridge site.  The donations on Caring Bridge go directly to the upkeep of the website.  This is a fantastic site that has been a wonderful ministry to our family, but if you donate on there, it does not go to us.  A special account has been set up at First Texas Bank: Benefit for Amanda Watson, Acct # 816314 P O Box 649 Georgetown, TX 78627.  We appreciate all the support we have received more than I can adequately say here, there just are no words.
The number one most important thing to us are the prayers that have been said on behalf of Amanda and our family. 

With the MRI coming up next week, it is hard not to look at Amanda without amazement at how well she is doing and an anticipation of what the scans will show.  At the same time and sometimes in the same breath, it is hard not to let fears and concerns sweep down and settle in my thoughts.  It is days like today, and the pictures below, that help combat those fears and remind me of my little fighter and the answered prayers we have already seen in her life.

Ms. Calli Rae in her Team Watson shirt!

With Romeo out, Dude stepped in for duty.

Look closely, this is called "Winged Victory."  Pretty appropriate, don't you think?

A gorgeous day for a ride.

These next few make my heart melt:

She learned to take care of his hooves today.

Dude is lovin' this attention!

Last but not least, putting the tack away.  Look at her use that left arm!

 As we left, we stopped by Romeo's stall.  He came over when she called and then this:

 Sweetest. Thing. Ever.

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world gives, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

Good news at today's PT/OT appointment

Amanda had physical therapy and occupational therapy today.  What a bittersweet day it was!  She has been in occupational and physical therapy for six months, so today's appointment was spent assessing how far she has come since that first visit.  My, how God has blessed.  Amanda has reached the point where occupational therapy is no longer needed.  Her physical therapy sessions will continue to include improving the strength in her left arm, but overall, she continues to show improvement at each visit.

These pictures were taken on March 18, just a mere seventeen days after her surgery.  I can clearly remember sitting in this room, fighting back the tears as I watched Amanda struggle to do basic things like button and zip a jacket, thread a string through blocks and pick up pennies with her left hand.  The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming as I watched her become frustrated because she couldn't do it, but then encouraged to see her determination to keep trying. 

It never ceases to bring me joy when we visit the various teams that God has placed in our lives.  The love and encouragement Cindy and Jessica show, along with extreme patience and dedication to helping Amanda improve, has been a essential part of her recovery.  

After therapy this morning, it was a beautiful day to go feed at ROCK.  We found out some sad news today.  Romeo has an injury that is going to keep him on the sidelines for some time.  Amanda took the news MUCH better than I anticipated.  Tomorrow should be interesting as Ms. Judy works with Amanda on choosing another horse to ride.  Amanda loves her Romeo and he will be hard to replace....I am very interested in seeing how this plays out. 

Brandon has a basketball game tomorrow evening.  We will miss Wednesday's ROCK visit because we have an appointment at Dr. Harrod's for Amanda's Avastin infusion and WBC booster shot.  It is so hard to believe we are already halfway through with this cycle!  Our week will end with another basketball game on Friday night in Marble Falls, and then a three day weekend.  I am looking forward to it; I think I was spoiled by that three week Christmas vacation.  ;) 

So here are some fun (although some of them are very blurry) photos from today's appointment.  I am thankful that she enjoys these appointments as much as she does!  Makes life much easier.....

Don't let this look fool you.....

I just think this is adorable. 

Cards?! Yep, all part of her OT....these girls are having fun even while they work.

The Total Gym gave her a total workout.

Working out in front of a mirror is always helpful....okay, maybe not, but at least it makes you smile!

Of all the cool things there, this is probably her favorite - the swing.

Right after this shot, she fell backward on the crash mat for her grand finale. 

Cindy and Jessica, a wonderful part of our amazing team!

 Philippians 1:3-6
 I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.