A simple phone call......

Yesterday, we made both morning and evening worship services!  To top it off, it was a beautiful day outside and we spent some time in the back yard, just soaking up the amazing Texas spring weather.

Tomorrow we start cycle ten.  We will also see the results from last week's MRI.  This has been one of those weeks where I put the thought of "waiting" on the back burner and did my best not to think about scan results or chemo.  Yet as the weekend came and went, and then this morning - I am just ready for tomorrow to be here and done.

This morning, Dr. Harrod called the house, and I have to admit, my pulse started racing when I heard her voice.  No news is good news, so for her to personally call the house, well, let's just say I immediately thought there was bad news.  Then she said that she wanted to increase Amanda's chemo dose and I started shaking.  Without hesitation she went on to say that Amanda's counts have been so good, she has grown and seems to be tolerating the medication well, so she wants to try to maximize the dose.  I quickly asked how the tumor looked and she said the scans looked good.  (Huge sigh of relief!)  Dr. Harrod said we would discuss the plan in more detail tomorrow and look at the scans, but she just needed to make sure we had the medication on hand to start the increased dose or if she needed to write us a prescription.   (That made me giggle on the inside - I mean, doesn't everyone have additional chemotherapy medication on hand?)  Thankfully, we already have what we need for the new dose.  And that was the extent of the phone call.   I hung up the phone and it took me almost half an hour for the adrenaline to completely fade and my nerves to calm.

As I washed dishes after the phone call, I was surprised at how much the call rattled me.  Despite the great report last time, there is always the slight apprehension of what the scans could show, but deep down I have a peace about them and was looking forward to reviewing them with our team tomorrow.   So as I stood at the sink, I struggled with frustration at myself and tried to "be still" to calm my chaotic spirit and remember that even if the call had been bad news, God was still in control.  I don't want to live in fear of a phone call.  I want us to thrive in each day.

A couple of Sunday nights ago, we sang a song called "This is Amazing Grace" at church.  The song was familiar to me, but after that night, it seemed that every time I turned on the radio that song was on.  It didn't matter if it was Pandora or the radio, I heard it numerous times each day.  It became that reminder to me that we live each day in His grace alone.  The line, "Who brings our chaos, back into order" has especially been powerful for me.  A constant for me this past year has been the struggle for control, or the lack thereof, so it hits close to home for me to be reminded of who is really in control.  (see previous paragraph to prove my point!)

Please pray for us this week.  Pray for tomorrow as Amanda starts chemo.  It will be her long day in the infusion room and the high dose of Benedryl always does a number on her, so prayers for a smooth infusion are appreciated.   She will start her chemo medication tomorrow night at home.  It should be a ten percent increase in her daily dose, so this whole cycle could be physically more challenging for her.  She is so sensitive to medications.  And finally, please pray that as Amanda gets nearer to the end of her treatment, that she will continue to press on and finish strong and courageous.

Psalm 90:14

Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

This is Amazing Grace
Who breaks the power of sin and darkness
Whose love is mighty and so much stronger
The King of glory, the King above all Kings

Who shakes the whole earth with holy thunder
Leaves us breathless in awe and wonder
The King of glory, the King above all Kings

This is amazing grace
This is unfailing love
That You would take my place
That You would bear my cross
You laid down Your life
That I would be set free
Jesus I sing for all that You've done for me

Who brings our chaos back into order
Who makes the orphan a son and daughter
The King of glory, the King of glory

Who rules the nations with truth and justice
Shines like the sun in all of its brilliance
The king of glory, the King above all Kings

Worthy is the lamb who was slain
Worthy is the King who conquered the grave

Ride, horse, ride....

What a great day we had today!  After math lessons this morning, we met my family for lunch, then we all headed over to Uncle Powell's house. (who is actually just a close family friend, but Amanda has called him Uncle Powell forever.)  "Back in the day" Powell was very involved in the competitive cutting horse world.  He has a small herd of retired horses now, but he has been riding a few to see if one would be suitable for Amanda.   Zachy and Friday have recently been ridden and it amazes me how it seems no time has passed at all since they were last rode.  We are talking years here since he last rode them.  Today, Georgia was the horse he picked to ride.  What amazing friends we are blessed with that they take the time to put this amount of work into something for Amanda that may or may not work out. 

However, after today, it seemed that Georgia might be a good fit for Amanda because of her sweet temperament.  These horses are amazing, beautiful and respond so well to him.  Today was the first time Amanda has ridden one of Uncle Powell's horses and I think overall it went well.  Up until today, we have just gone and watched him working the horses.  She is going to have to learn the nuances of his horses and how they respond to a rider.  I think she is up to the challenge as long as her Papa and Uncle Powell are there with her!

If there is one thing that has become obvious to me over these past months, is that everyone has their own way of working with horses.  Uncle Powell is a natural.  He has a gift with horses and I always learn something from being around him.

After leaving there, we went to my parents house.  They live next door to my sister and brother in law.  My niece and her husband keep their horses there and we were planning on Amanda riding there as well.  When I was in high school, we kept a few horses there and I practically lived out at their place.  So today was such a fun day for me.  It brought back so many great memories.   As you can see by the pictures below, Sandra Jo and I go way back with horses.

Tonight, after Amanda rode, Sandra Jo and I rode as well.   It was a so much fun to be back on a horse again.  Amanda comes by her love of horses honestly - I love to ride.

Top picture is me, Sandra Jo and that was my horse, Polecat.  These were around 94/95.

Top picture is me on my dad's horse, Diablo.  I have the best memories of riding horses in Big Bend and Palo Duro Canyon with my parents.

Okay, enough memory lane for me.  When Amanda woke up this morning her legs were hurting, she wasn't feeling good and she was tired.  While that made math a little more challenging, there was no way, however, she was going to miss out on today!  We have been trying to get this planned for awhile now.  I am so glad we were able to work it out before she started her next round of chemo.

No surprise, she found a dog right away.

This is the beautiful Georgia.

Amazing to watch these horses work!

It was like Georgia had been ridden last week.

She was very curious about my camera. 

Oh how I wish this was in focus.  The joy on her face is breathtaking.

Papa rinsed Georgia down after a good ride.

Here is Amanda with Sandra Jo and Cutter out at the Kelley Ranch.

It is always special for me to see these two together.  Sweet memories being made.

I'm praying that Amanda will feel up to making Sunday morning worship services.  This is the time of her cycle where she generally feels worn down and weak.  The days have flown by and Tuesday feels right around the corner!!

I started today off with a great devotional, but I read the wrong day!  It was, however, exactly what I needed to hear:

"Stop trying to work things out before their times have come.  Accept the limitations of living one day at a time.  When something comes to your attention, ask me whether or not it is part of today's agenda.  If it isn't, release it into My care and go on about today's duties.  When you follow this practice, there will be a beautiful simplicity about your life: a time for everything and everything in it's time.   A life lived close to me is not complicated or cluttered.  When your focus is on My presence, many things that once troubled you lose their power over you.  Though the world around you is messy and in confusion, remember, I have overcome the world. I have told you these things so that in Me you may have Peace."  Jesus Calling

A beautiful day for a ride....

Today we had a great day.  Amanda had her lesson at ROCK and she had an amazing ride.  For reasons outside of our control, Amanda has been moved down to one ride a week, so she really looks forward to Tuesdays!  Recently, it seems there have been numerous conflicts, such as chemo, weather and vacation, that has prevented Amanda from having a good ride. Therefore, I took lots of pictures today!  I am thankful that she felt good for the ride, but by mid-afternoon she needed to go to bed and rest a little. 

We don't have much planned for the remainder of the week, but I'm sure we will find ways to fill our days.  :)

With Romeo still out, Oakey made a great substitute today!

She started off in the arena working on weaving the cones, using only her legs to guide the horse.

She did awesome!  Made the whole pattern without using her reigns!

This is what I got when I asked for a smile....

After her ride, time to un-tack and take care of Oakey.

Amanda and Cantor coming in from the pasture.

I don't know which one is enjoying it more...

A perfect way to end her lesson today...some good ole' puppy lovin'!

MRI day

Even though we didn't have to be up at the crack of dawn, this morning was still hard.   No matter how many times Amanda goes through the MRI process, the anxiety is still there.  I don't blame her one bit.

Today they did a full spine and brain scan, so she was back for two hours before we were called to recovery.  While Amanda always has a hard time coming out of anesthesia, I think we have found a good cocktail that helps her wake up easier.  Once again, I am so thankful for the amazing people at Dell.   We saw our favorite charge nurse in recovery, but everyone else was new to us today.  As always, everyone did an amazing job with Amanda and took very good care of her.   

So now, unless there is something of concern on the scans, we will receive a report on the scans next Tuesday, April 1.

I came across the first verse below a few weeks back and saved it, knowing that this week would present challenges for me while we wait on the results.

May my waiting be worship and may I wait with hope, sheltered in the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalm 130:5
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
    and in his word I hope. 

Psalm 91:1-2
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

Walking in to Dell this morning by her favorite mode of transportation these days - piggy back, or as they call it 'horse back ride,' from Daddy.   Her newest stuffed giraffe, Spots, went with her for her MRI.

Weekend review and MRI tomorrow, Monday

What a weekend we have had.  Friday night, we went to watch my niece, Katie, in a drama production at her school.  Talk about growing up fast!  I took her senior pictures on Saturday afternoon.

Saturday morning Tom, Brandon and I played paintball.  I have never played before and to be honest, my boys were hoping for the chance to take a shot at me.  Tom and I ended up on the same team, and thankfully Brandon never got the opportunity.  Somehow I managed to avoid being shot at all!  I did, however, learn an important lesson that day - I am woefully out of shape.  My sore muscles scream at me every time I move.  It's really sad. 

From paintball, we went to Ryan's baseball game and then we spent the rest of my day at my folks, with me recuperating from my two hours of all-out paintball warfare.  I think I must be getting old. 

Today, Amanda was tired from her big weekend and spent the day resting in preparation for tonight's service.  Tonight, Thomas was ordained as a Deacon and it was a beautiful day in the life of our family.  Thomas and I feel blessed to be a part of Crestview Baptist Church.  As we look back over the past five years, God has grown us and given us friendships with amazing brothers and sisters in Christ.  Tonight, to have the deacon body come by, one by one, and pray over Tom and I was a powerful event.  We were touched by how many of our friends and family came to be a part of the evening. 

Tomorrow is Amanda's MRI.  By the time many of you read this, she may already be in the MRI or even possibly home.  Our arrival time at Dell is 10:00 a.m,, which has already caused anxieties for Amanda because she can't eat before her MRI and she is afraid she will be hungry.  She doesn't need anything else to add to her anxieties - the day itself is enough as it is.  Brandon will be going with us.  I think it is sweet how she wants him there and he wants to be there to support her.  It is important for me that Brandon knows he has an strong role during this time in Amanda's life and treatment process.  I am grateful for how God is shaping his life during this time.  We have seen him grow and mature this year in ways I never imagined.  God is good.

So as I turn in tonight, it will be with prayers for peaceful sleep and that Amanda will have the courage to face tomorrow.

Numbers 6:24-26
The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Happy, happy, happy....

Another appointment down!  Today Amanda had her appointment for her second infusion of cycle nine which means we are officially half way through the cycle. 

At the end of Spring Break, my dad took Brandon golfing and my mom, my oldest sister, my niece, Amanda and I went and painted ceramics!  Yesterday, mom, Amanda and I picked them up and Amanda's turned out beautiful.  She painted it after Uncle Powell's horse, Zachy.

Making our creations

Amanda and her masterpiece - "Zachy"

This morning, I had the privilege to participate in a little bit of fun at Grace for their Read-a-thon assembly.  The theme this year was "Reading makes me happy, happy, happy" so when I was asked to dress up like a Robertson, how could I pass that up?!  There were two Upper School students and our lion mascot who were all decked out in beards.  It got all crazy red-neck up in that assembly.  We love to have a good time.  (Umm, there are some photos below to help prove that point!)

Even the Duck crew have joined Team Watson!!  (Okay, not really, but I like to imagine they are...) 

My kids are so proud of me.....Actually, they are really good sports and handle their mother's crazy antics well.  They have had plenty of experience through the years:

Mr. Adair and I ready to present poetry, 1960 coffee house style.

Mrs. Phillips and I on Mis-match Day.

The Admin Team on "Mustache Day" last year.

And this is probably my favorite, working carpool on Mr. Adair's birthday sporting my green wig. I think green is a good color for me....

Back to today.....

The bearded duo, ready to crash assembly!

I dressed up for the occasion - I wore my "Happy, happy, happy" tie and everything!

No surprise, it was the Lion who brought the house down....

For some crazy reason, the students voted the Lion as having the best beard......pshaw.

Amanda went to her class and sat with her classmates during assembly.  She enjoyed getting to see them, even if it was just a short visit.  After we left the school, we stopped by the house to pick up Thomas and it was off to Dell.  (and yes, I did change first!)  Amanda really struggled with going this morning, but by the end of the appointment she was doing great.  As I have mentioned, it is usually the apprehension and fear that gets her, but she was also up very early this morning, so that is a bad combination. Once we were there and her port was accessed, she calmed down.  Her labs look great and the infusions went well.  The clinic was crazy busy today, so thankfully it was her short appointment.  While we were there, we received a surprise visit from Ella, the therapy dog:

She looks a lot like Ginger!

Our weekend from here will be a busy one.  Tomorrow, Team Watson (excluding Amanda) will participating in a fundraiser for the Grace Academy Latin Club at the new Georgetown Paintball course.  If you like to paintball, come on out and have fun while supporting a great club! (Let me know if you want more details!)
From there we go to my parent's house for our our monthly get together to celebrate birthdays.  My nephew, Ryan, turns 16!  They grow up so fast...

2005-Me, Amanda, Brandon, Ryan, Katie, Joanna and Kyle.  Second row, Melinda, Mom, Sandra Jo, Dad and Cody.

Sunday will be a very blessed day in our family.  At the evening service, Thomas will be ordained as a deacon.  I'm so glad the timing works out so that Amanda will feel good for the service.  We are looking forward to this special time in the life of our family.

God, in his mercy and grace, continues to pour out his blessings upon our family.  My heart is full of joy, thanksgiving and praise.

Psalm 40:5
You have multiplied, O Lord my God,
    your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
    none can compare with you!
I will proclaim and tell of them,
    yet they are more than can be told.

We have our good days, and we have our bad....

As good of a day Amanda had on Monday, Tuesday was exactly the opposite.  She woke up feeling bad and continued to stay that way for the entire day.  Perhaps she did a little too good in therapy and just wore herself out, who knows?!

This morning she woke up still feeling bad with her legs hurting her, but thankfully she perked up as the day went on.  That could have been because today was her riding lesson at ROCK.  It was a beautiful day and she had a great ride.  The lesson ended with some Romeo time as she walked him to his stall for his dinner. 

This week reminded me of our first chemo cycle.  We sailed through days one and two with no problem.  I remember posting, "Bring on day three!" and then immediately regretted it when she crashed on day three and was terribly ill for the next week.   It sometimes feels like as soon as I post that she is doing good, she will have a bad day.  I know that is still important to celebrate her good days, and she does have a lot of them.  In fact, I am constantly amazed by how good she looks - she is even putting on weight!  You would never guess that she is battling brain cancer and currently undergoing chemotherapy. 

Tonight, while Amanda was in bed - she pulled another tooth!  That is four in the last month!!  As I mentioned before, due to the medication she is on, when she bleeds, she tends to bleed more than normal.  So here we are, way past her bedtime, and dealing with a pulled tooth.  You just never know what will happen around here next.

We enjoyed today.  It was a good day, and for that, I am thankful.

Romans 12:12 
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

This is the new guard dog at ROCK - Canter.  As you can see, she is extremely fluffy and friendly.

Today, Amanda rode Tara again.

Tara was a bit of a prima-donna today. She was preoccupied with what was going on outside the arena, and not very interested in what she was supposed to be doing.

This will most likely cause sore muscles in both her legs and arms - but it is a beautiful sight to see her using those arms and legs so well!

Time with her Romeo.