MRI results and the start of Cycle Ten!!

Today's appointment went very well.  Amanda started the morning with normal and understandable apprehension.  With today being a neurology/oncology clinic, there was a lot of people in the room with us.  That always makes Amanda nervous.  What a combination for her - starting chemo and lots of people looking at her.  That's enough to make anyone anxious.  After the exam and labs, which came back great, we were able to move back to a crash room (the private room instead of the large infusion room.)  Last month, the infusion room was crowded and loud, so Amanda was very agitated and it took her a little longer time to fall asleep.  Today, she was actually in a bed, in a quiet room and they pushed the Benedryl a little quicker, so Amanda fell asleep easier today with less emotion.  The funny thing was that the infusion room was completely empty today!  You just never know. 

Now, results of her MRI.  The tumor is still great - no active signs of the disease, which they determine by no detectable contrast in the area of the tumor.  Recalling that this is a high grade tumor which was diffused in the surrounding tissue,  there is a certain area of her brain stem that was damaged that they have been monitoring throughout treatment.   After our last MRI, I posted, "There are areas of her brain stem that were damaged by the tumor that the doctors will continuing to monitor, but even those areas are showing the improvement they want to see.  (That part is way beyond my ability to understand much less relay it here on the blog - so you will just have to take my word for it!)"
Today, they shared that the MRI shows that that area does show some change.  The question is - is it a bad change or merely a symptom of treatment, healing, or variables associated with an MRI?  We don't know.  It could be nothing, it could be something.  We will just have to wait and see how the area looks at the next MRI.  Amanda is doing great clinically (motor skills, thought process, balance, strength and use of her left side and so on...) so that is also a positive thing. 

Amanda's daily chemo dose has been increased over 10%.  There are a number of reasons for that change which I shared yesterday, but I now have a feeling that the change on the MRI also plays into that decision.

Oh boy.  Just when I have started to allow myself to recklessly look forward to next year and beyond, rather than strictly living in the day and only in the day, I am very rudely brought back to the reality of the ugliness of cancer.  In my head I know that this could be nothing.  The team is still positive, we don't need to change the treatment plan, it was still a good report.  But maybe, because I had honestly anticipated walking in and hearing only good news, the "but there is this area that we will be monitoring" just sort of burst my bubble and I was disappointed and sad. 

My daughter is beautiful, inside and out.  She is a fighter.  Over the last year we have all seen her struggle, overcome, fight and do everything we have asked of her. We have watched her undergo treatment and successfully improve and heal.  God has continuously blessed our family and answered prayers.  He has been my Shield and my Fortress, my Comforter and my Redeemer.  So even though I feel like we have been thrown a curve ball, it was not a surprise to God.  Every time the anxiety creeps up on me, 'cause we all know it will, that will be an important fact for me to remember. 

Amanda took her first dose of chemo like a champ.  We have officially started cycle ten!

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you;  be not dismayed, for I am your God;  I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Philippians 4:6-8

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.