Day Three - Cycle Eight

Isaiah 43:1-3

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

(Day three already! We came home from the doctors on Tuesday and by that evening I was in bed, sick.  Today I feel a little better, but I am sure you can imagine my panic over exposing Amanda to anything after we have worked so hard to keep her away from illness. Thankfully, Thomas has been home, so I have been able to be quarantined to our room and stay away from Amanda.)   

We serve an amazing God.  

 

Tuesday, I was numb, almost in a daze after we had received the news.  I think at one point in the doctor's office, I broke down in tears, simply overwhelmed.  Thanks to today's technology, we were able to quickly share the news and in turn, received messages from family and friends who were rejoicing, shouting and crying out praises to God, and yet I felt numb.  

Don't get me wrong, I was full of thanksgiving and joy, awe and wonder at the visual proof of answered prayer.  But at the same time, I sat there watching my daughter lying in the bed, connected to an IV that was pumping her full of medication, trying to make sure that we kill every last cancer cell in her body and I felt a mixture of emotions.  Our battle is not over yet, but Praise God, we have so much to be thankful for.

Once we were home Tuesday afternoon and Amanda was settled in bed, Tom and I sat across from each other and marveled at the news.  This was what we have prayed for over the last 11 months.  Isn't it hard to believe it has been that long?  In fact, Monday, it was exactly 11 months since we walked into the Dell emergency room with Amanda.   

I looked at Tom and asked, "Why do I feel in shock and why am I not shouting for joy?"  I could tell he was in a similar place, but he was able to give a great explanation of where we were emotionally.  It was something like this:  In a battle, the men fighting the enemy are deep in the trenches, day in and day out.  They have seen more than they want to see while perhaps even wounded from the battle.  They are exhausted and tired of it all.  Then victory is declared, yet they find themselves still at the front lines of the battle.  Everyone back home is celebrating, shooting off fireworks and throwing jubilant parties, but the soldiers aren't able to abandon the trenches yet.  Oh, they are relieved and even joyful of the victory, but the men in battle still have a ways to go before they can fully embrace the victory......and that is a wonderful example of how I feel: still in the trenches.  

Having said that, I must also assure you of this.  There is plenty of rejoicing and for me a sense of wonder at how awesome it is to personally experience this answered prayer and to have the ability to share our journey with so many people.  What a blessing to know that you are out there rejoicing with us and continuing to pray for Amanda.

We serve an amazing God.  I simply can't say it enough and I can not wait to see what else He has in store for our family and our daughter as we continue down this path.

Amanda is in day three of cycle eight.  After this cycle, we have four more cycles to go, with probably two more MRIs during that time frame.   Praise God that she is having a good week with minimal side effects. 

God is so good.

Father in Heaven, I come to you with a heart that is overflowing with thanksgiving.  You have sustained us through the darkest hours and covered us with your peace and comfort.  Thank you for blessing us with friends and family that rejoice with us, cry with us and call out to you on our behalf in our times of need.  Please continue to work in Amanda's life and completely heal her.  Please give her the strength and courage to finish strong. May her life may be a living testimony of your healing mercies.  I ask that you continue to give her medical teams wisdom and discernment in her treatment and I thank you for the brothers and sisters in Christ we have met along the way.   I am truly humbled by your goodness, love and mercy.   In Jesus name, Amen.