Content

Amanda is doing well, just very tired.  After she gets up and does an activity, it usually has her feeling pretty yucky and worn out.  We do a little and then she needs to rest.  Her appetite is good, so that is one less thing for me to worry about.  I’d say that we are in a good place!  She did go ride yesterday and even participated in physical therapy.  Romeo was back in action, so she was thrilled. Some pictures from the wet, but warmer ride:

For some reason, she didn't want me taking her picture.  I can't imagine why....

This takes balance, and energy.

They were playing a board game that has a horse theme!

Simply love her relaxed position.

 Brandon had another great game tonight.  The boys played well together and played hard.  They are now 3-0 for the season.  It was so much fun!  I am very vocal at the games, but I get so excited I can't help myself.  That's my boy playing out there!  Way to go Lions!

I scheduled a play date last week with one of Amanda's classmates. These days, our play dates are usually short and spur of the moment.   On this day, it was a double bonus - I was able to visit with my friend while Amanda visited with her friend.   During our conversation, I had an epiphany.  Okay, that may be a little extreme, but as she and I visited about my outlook on this new year, she had a great suggestion.  She suggested I adopt a word for this year, and the more I thought about it the more I liked it.  

I had just shared with her how I had come to this great decision about being content regarding a certain area of my life instead of constantly trying to get it fixed.  That decision gave me a sense of freedom within since it released those emotions I had wrapped up in trying to “fix it.”  She graciously pointed out how well that attitude applies to other areas of my life during this time as well.   Me, the one that likes to do things her way, the one that likes to plan, likes schedules and structure, the one whose house has been in some state of remodel for the past three years, the one that is not good at waiting, the one that likes to know exactly what is going on......need I continue?  Instead of schedules and structure, I now live a life where everything I used to work so hard at controlling has literally been taken out of my hands.  I can't plan anything beyond one day at a time.

Sounds like a recipe for a total meltdown to me!  At times, that is exactly how I feel, but instead of wallowing in the meltdown, I find myself continually turning to God and relying on his promises.   If I didn't believe everything I share with you, if I didn't take God at his word when he says that in all things he works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose, I think I could seriously have a complete emotional breakdown.  I don't know if I would be able to function in the simple daily things of life because of my fear of the future.  

Thankfully, however, I do believe that promise.   Therefore, I am daily learning to be content in EVERYTHING that God brings into my life.  Whether it is the cancer that is in my daughter, me quitting my job with no notice to stay home and care for her, watching the struggles that a serious illness brings to not only our immediate family, but how it also effects our extended family and friends or, one that is particularly challenging, simply living life day in and day out in spite of cancer.  Everything that comes into our life, God is working for good.

So, for 2014 - I am claiming the word content.  That one word is like an umbrella for me because it covers so many emotions; it brings peace, joy, confidence, security, hope and satisfaction.  It fights fear, pride, worry and anxiety.  In a world that is so uncertain, I am grateful to know that God's plan is so much better than mine.   On good days, this is easy to believe and I want to shout it from the mountains.  It is on those days that are so challenging, where fear overwhelms and uncertainty bears down that I find my greatest hope in the truth of His sovereignty and love. 

I opened my devotional yesterday morning and this was the verse:

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Philippians 4:12

What an amazing chapter – Philippians 4. Verses 19-20 is a wonderful reminder to me that my needs will always be met.  How blessed am I that God also meets so many of my wants.  This also reminds me that what I think I need and what I really need are usually two very different things.

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.  To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Content.  Grateful.  Blessed.