Romans 12:15
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
I'm
not going to lie. It has been a hard week. After the Rock Ceremony, the
emotional aftershock was so bad I went to bed for the long weekend.
My body just said, "Stop."
That's
a very strange feeling. You aren't physically ill, but your emotions
wipe you out so badly that your body responds the same. And I have
learned you had better listen to your body or things will only get
worse.
At
one point this week as I was doing laundry, I realized how much I miss
doing loads of pinks and purples. It's those little things that sneak up
and hit you hard. For some reason, that hurt so incredibly badly and
the sadness overwhelmed.
Even
after all this time, it is still so strange how as you find yourself
going about daily chores, the pain can just come out of nowhere. I
don't mind the pain though. In fact, it's those days when I go for some
time without feeling the pain that stops me in my tracks. That is one
reason why I love all the pictures I took....
I
enjoy watching the slideshows I have made, but I also love watching
home videos....hearing her voice, seeing her mannerisms and body
movements, remembering how it felt to hug and hold her - those memories
come flooding back easier when watching videos.
The slideshows bring back memories, but the videos bring back her.....and that allows the memories to come back in a whole new way.
And
while the pain of missing her hasn't changed, God continues to bless me
with giving me glimpses of how our precious daughter's story is
continuing to touch lives. That helps me see the hurt be seen in a
different light.
A
few months ago, I received a card in the mail from one of our amazing
team members during Amanda's treatment. Cindy was Amanda's physical
therapist and absolutely precious. She worked with Amanda so well and
was loving and patient on even the most brutal days. Her letter was
sweet to receive, and in that letter, she shared that on Easter Sunday, her pastor shared Amanda's story. She attends Covenant Presbyterian Church in Austin. The sermon and how Amanda's story was shared was beautiful.
I Have Seen The Lord - sermon by Jill Williams
When
I received the card filled with encouragement and love from Cindy, it
was as if God was reminding me again that this pain is not meaningless,
it is doing something. This side of heaven may be filled with heartache
and longing for my daughter, but one day - one precious day when I get
to Heaven, I will be able to see how God used Amanda's life and His
story to change lives.
So
as I go through this day a little on the down side, I will remember that
today, I live by faith. And one sweet, glorious day, I too will live by
sight......what a day that will be.
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| I adore this picture! |
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| Oh how my heart misses that sweet face.... |
2 Corinthians 4:17
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
Amanda was such a joy and blessing to me. I will always remember her. Keeping you all in my prayers.
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