My mind is swirling....but I finallly get to share the slideshow!

Gracious.  I have so much to share!  Look out, I may be going back to my early days of blogging and post more often.  Seriously - I don't even know where to begin.  So as I begin unpacking (both literally and figuratively) these past two weeks, I'll start with something that was incredibly close to Amanda's heart, ROCK.

The Dance Gallery had their benefit concert on behalf of ROCK this past Friday, February 13, and from everything I heard - it was a spectacular evening.  Thomas, Brandon and I were down in Uvalde with our Double AA Ranch family for the weekend so we were unable to attend.  My niece, Sandra Jo, spoke on behalf of the family and she did wonderful.  I am so proud of her! Not only did she get up and speak in front of a large crowd (always a little unnerving) but she also spoke about Amanda.  Double whammy.

The benefit began with a performance then Sandra speaking, followed by the slideshow of "Amanda's Story" that I made.  Both can be seen by clicking here.  When making the video of Amanda at ROCK, I had so many pictures to go through (we are talking hundreds of pictures, all of which I am incredibly thankful for) and though it was agonizing and heartbreaking at times, I could smile through the tears as I journeyed back through her time at ROCK and the absolute joy she found there.  Raw honesty here - I watch this video daily, usually more than once.  It is a beautiful reminder to me that despite cancer's attack on her body, Amanda's last 17 months were good months, overflowing with love and happiness.  I love to see her smile.  God continued to richly bless her life through her trials, and Amanda knew it.  What mom could ask for more?

After hearing Sandra's speech, it made me remember Amanda's phone!  This is her wallpaper - Romeo's eye.  Amanda loved the eyes of a horse....

Anytime you asked Amanda how she was feeling, and you know I did that a lot, she would always respond with something like this "I'm on a horse - I'm fine!"or "I just got off a horse - I'm fine!" Towards the end, as the tumor started to come back, her emotional state was still that mindset, but you could tell physically she would struggle.  However, simply being in the presence of a horse could always cheer her up.

As I was sitting around the campfire Friday night with my Double AA family, my heart was in two places. From the beginning of our journey with Amanda's cancer, the outpouring of love was amazing, and even though it is approaching the two year mark of her original diagnosis, that outpouring has not stopped.  God is so good.

My Friday night at the ranch.  Blessed and happy.

This is a fun story to share.  A few weeks back, my nephew showed me his varsity baseball helmet:

I love it! AW.  Never forgotten and still incredibly loved.

Then as we were eating dinner one night this weekend, Brandon noticed that the upside down Double AA logo was another AW!  For me, it's those small things that come out of nowhere that make me smile and are beautiful reminders of Amanda. 

As I've mentioned before, there is something about the ranch that is incredibly healing and peaceful for me.  It was one year ago over Valentine's Day weekend that we were there with Amanda, celebrating and overjoyed that her latest the MRI showed no active tumor and thinking we were beating this cancer.  Going back one year later without her, while painful, still was wonderful therapy for me.  The entire Archer family simply envelops us in their love and makes us feel like family and that is incredibly healing. Even more healing, is that they loved Amanda, despite spending one short weekend with her.  After our visit for a youth hunt at the Double AA last month, I shared in that post pictures from that weekend we went with Amanda.  Beautiful memories.

Another incredibly special celebration was the daughter of Jason and Jessica Reeves getting baptized.  We were not able to make the service, but had a special gift for Hadley in celebration of this important step of faith.  It was a pair of butterfly earrings and they symbolize enduring hope and new life.  A very fitting gift for a new journey in faith.  I told her that, yes, the most amazing part is that she will spend all of eternity with our Almighty Creator, but I was also thrilled because it also meant that she too will one day see Amanda again. 

Okay, so this post went a little longer than I intended, so I will stop here.  But I look forward to begin sharing how in two days, God completely wrecked my "plans" and reminded me of my purpose.

Oh yeah.  Time to dig deep and be painfully honest with how God spoke to me that weekend and how I need to be living through this pain.....and how He has already showed me glimpses of how I can do that in my daily life.

 Romans 8:35-39
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.