So as I feel like I am standing in the vortex of a massive storm, I frantically look around pleading with God to help me see the joy. I beg Him to open my eyes to the amazing influence our beautiful, precious daughter's life had because of her faith in Him. I know that this suffering has not been in vain.
When I remember my girl and the past eighteen months, ROCK stands out as a huge place of joy for Amanda. Not only was it the horses, and that was a huge part of it for her, but it was the people there as well. Not only did they love her, but they saw the love and connection she had to the horses and did everything they could to nurture and grow that love. It was an amazing place for her.
My niece, Sandra Jo, works there. On the morning of Amanda's passing, it was a training day for the staff. As Sandra Jo shared the news with everyone, there happened to be a Williamson County Sun reporter on sight doing an article on ROCK as part of a series on non-profits for the August 24 edition. Natalie Townsend was the writer and she did a beautiful job capturing the moment. While it breaks my heart every time I read it, it also is a reminder to me of just how much the staff at ROCK loved my girl. And for this momma, that does my heart good. It is a ray of joy that shines through the dark.
Below is the portion of the article that relates to Amanda, but there is more to the article than just this excerpt. I encourage you to read the full article here if you happened to have missed it. It's titled "Horses Help the Healing Process."
"An uncharacteristic silence descended August 6 on the Ride On Center for Kids arena during a staff-training event.
Upon learning of a young client's death, the riders hung their heads while dutifully executing training maneuvers, their slanted helmets shading red-rimmed eyes. The procession of horses left a trail of tears in its wake.
Nancy O'Meara Krenek, chief executive officers of ROCK, had been preparing to leave for a conference in Nashville. Once she heard the news, however, she rushed to join her instructors, riding bareback into the arena. "You won't see many smiles today," Ms. Krenek said, wiping her teary eyes. "It's probably good that they [the riding instructors] are riding." Hugging and massaging the necks of their horses, trainers sought comfort from the animals that are so integral to their client's therapy.
.....Although the death of their client will surely linger in the minds of ROCK instructors and volunteers, they will respect her memory by continuing to serve others in need.
With an aching heart but an unwavering mission, they will ride on."
On a horse - she had joy and it spilled over to those she was around at ROCK. She would forget the cancer, the treatment and anything else that was physically bothering her and just have enjoy being on a horse. I am so thankful for ROCK. I'm thankful for the people and the horses that blessed her life in such a huge way.
James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change
We pray for you and your family everyday that you will see a little bit of that joy, moment to moment. We don't know you personally, so this may sound odd, but we love you so very much and hold you close to our hearts in hopes that you will feel Our Heavenly Father's comfort and peace.
ReplyDeleteHorses are amazing. I am thankful that Amanda experienced such joy. God is good
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteDebbie Schiller
ReplyDeleteWe love the beautiful pictures of Amanda- I have saved so many of them to my phone so I can look at her beautiful smile during the day. What a God send.
I pray for joy each every day. Remember even when you don't feel the joy it is there- it was there all the time. It will become stronger & stronger
But it will take time and you can not rush it.
Sandy - Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You have been such a blessing and an inspiration to me, and I'm sure others as well. I have been and will continue to pray for your sweet family.
ReplyDeleteHaving recently experienced a deep loss in my own life, my husband died 9/5/12, I have fresh memory of the acuteness of the pain. Losing a child must be ten times worse than that. You are doing what you need to be doing as a family; feeling the pain, praying for help and guidance and reaching out to others. I promise it will begin to lesson in time but it does take time. I send you prayers and much love even though we have never met. My heart reaches out to you. Mary Lynn
ReplyDeleteSandy - I read your Blog as it is shared by a friend of mine who's kids now go to school with my daughter but who used to go to Grace. I began reading each and every post just a couple of weeks before Amanda passed. I have NEVER, in all my life, felt such awe, respect, love and compassion for a total stranger! While your amazing Amanda is truly an inspiration and an example of the beauty that God, sometimes all to fleetingly, shares with us, YOU and your courage and faith as you share your painful daily walk with Christ are the reason I come back post after post. Your writing is poignant and so raw and oh so brave! YOU are an inspiration and the perfect example of how I believe God wants us to walk out this life in Him, unafraid to share the pain and difficulties. I do not even pretend to understand what you are going through but am all the better for reading your posts!
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