Brandon and I were looking through pictures last night and remembering our trip. It was definitely a memorable one. We went riding horses on the beach but before it was all said and done, I was simply praying that Amanda would safely make it back to the stables. Despite that one scary incident, it was a great week. She had a so much fun collecting shells. Amanda loved anything nature related. She wanted to bring every pretty rock, leaf, twig or shell she found home with her. I have two very large canisters full of shells from that trip, and I love the memories they hold of walking the beach together and searching for those pretty shells.
Sometimes grief is like this fog. Kind of like what you see in the movies - your day is sunny and bright - you are having a good day, laughing and going on with your business.....when all of the sudden, you are engulfed with grief. A memory hits, a smell triggers, a song comes on, or someone innocently says something that takes you to another time and place and before you know it - you are completely engulfed and covered by grief and you don't know which way is up or down.
It's strange, but for me, I have found that if you embrace that grief...if you allow it to wash over you and let the memories come and feel them, replay them and remember them - the grief will slowly pull away and you can move on. You never forget, but you can take one step forward...and then another step, until finally, you feel like you are back on solid ground again. Don't dwell and don't wallow, but simply let yourself remember.....that is what grief has become that for me.
So as we head into this Spring Break week, with plans as a family, it will be with some heartache, some sadness, but also reminding ourselves that it's okay to miss Amanda, as long as we remember that we know that she is in a better place. And not only that, but that she is looking forward to the day when we will join her. Come, Lord Jesus, come.
Oh how my heart misses her.....
Roman s 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
From Freeman Wilson – a portion of the letter read to his bible study class on 8/17/14.
Yesterday Mary and I attended the
service for Amanda Watson. The church quickly filled up and Crestview members
were asked to come and sit in the choir chairs. All of us sitting up there looked
over the packed church. EMS and fireman lined the outer walls standing the
entire service.
From my
view point of the audience it struck me how such a somber and sorrowful event
also was a celebration. Amanda lived to be about a month short of 11 years old.
She had spent the last year and a half fighting the cancer she had, I
understand.
In Dan’s
eulogy he told us that she wanted her family to never stop talking about her
especially at holidays. Toward the end, she told everyone this is not a good
bye but a “see you later, alligator”.
I saw a
father, mother and brother along with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins
although grieving yet celebrating her life as they watched the pictures of her
life on the screen. I saw a mom and dad lift their hearts and hands as we sang
songs of praise and hope.
How can
this be?
The hope of believers in
Christ Jesus makes all the difference in the world. It’s not a hope as the
world understands hope, it’s an assurance of certainty as John says 21 times in
1 John that this life is not all there is.
He lists traits
of a believer, we confess Jesus is Lord, we love God and God’s children, we
obey His commands, we don’t go on sinning and there is public evidence of our
transformed life. I didn’t know Amanda personally but I understand the traits I
just listed would have described her.
1 John 5:13
“ I write you these things so you may know that you have eternal life.” Verse
20 “The Son of God has come and has given us understanding so that we know Him
who is true and we are in Him who is true even His Son Jesus Christ. He is the
true God and eternal life.”
Amanda’s family will grieve and experience all that this kind of loss
brings into hurting hearts. Amanda’s
family's story will be one of hope and comfort during this time because they know she
is in the arms of her Savior and they will see her again because of God’s
assurance of things not seen. A hope that only He can bring.2 Corinthians 4:16-18
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
Can this really be only a year ago?
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| She was on a horse....and it was a paint.... |
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| Remember how I said grief is like fog.....perfect visual here.. |
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| This picture made me so proud of how far she had come physically....look at her reach! |
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| Pure joy on that beautiful face. |
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| Yeah, this was at, like, 11 at night....just goes to show that even I could stay up late if Amanda asked.... |
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| Hunting for seashells. |
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| We painstakingly cleaned each shell and divided them depending on their shape and color. Hours spent, not a moment regretted. What a beautiful afternoon of memories for me!! |
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| It was truly a wonderful week of memories made. |
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