Grief Bites

When grief comes into your life, (whether it is the death of a loved one, or adultery, divorce, illness, or any other loss) it is as though someone handed you an unworked scattered puzzle.

It is very important that you work out your grief in your own way, in your own time, and feel what you need to feel. You need not worry if someone else approves of how you grieve. Grief is a puzzle that must be completed by you and God together.

When we throw the puzzle incompletely together for the sake of someone else for their approval, or we put on a "happy face"...we cheapen and dishonor our personal grief experience...and we shortchange God by what He plans to do through our grief experience. 

It also makes grief worse in the long run.

Honorably work out your puzzle (grief) in your own individual unique way. As long as you are not disobeying God or harming another person or yourself, you are honorably working out your grief. Grief is not meant to be a one-size-fits-all-cookie-cutter experience. Embrace your heartache and work your grief out...learning as much as you can along the way.

If you become severely stuck while working through the puzzle of grief, you may need to consider talking with a trusted pastor or Christian counselor who may see a better way to make the pieces fit. Never give up on working out your grief. Stay the course until the puzzle of grief is completed. There IS hope!

God wants to give you HOPE and a good FUTURE. As you ask God to help you with your puzzle pieces in life, and seek Him with all your heart, you will find Him and His great plans He has in store for you.
-Grief Bites

This was posted by a dear friend on Facebook earlier this week and I found it to be an encouragement.  This week has been extremely challenging for me.  I am physically and emotionally worn out.  I feel like I am in a tailspin of juggling "life" while trying to find time for myself to simply be still.  It is a crazy balancing act, and to top it off, I'm not sleeping well.  So if we happen to cross paths and I seem distracted or distant, please don't take it personally!!

So as I continue to look at my "puzzle" of a life, I am looking to next week with heaviness of heart.  I have so much to be thankful for yet the grief is an amazing competitor with thankfulness.

As I looked back at last year's post about this time, we were celebrating the Wish Granted party, busy at ROCK, starting cycle six of chemo, and soaking up family time as much as possible. I love my families, but the dread of being with them without Amanda is becoming more real as the time approaches and I am not looking forward to the reality of it.  I know that every first from this day forward will continue to be painful, but this first year of holidays without her is almost overwhelming.  I'd like to clarify that I'm not sure if my boys are struggling as much as I am, so I can only speak for myself. 

From last year's Thanksgiving post.  It seems even last year I was struggling with living in the moment:
I went in to the Thanksgiving week thinking how easy it was going to be for me to show thanks.  That it would just pour out of me with every breath and that I would celebrate and enjoy every moment with family.  Unfortunately, instead of the week I was expecting, I found myself struggling to stay focused on the here and now and not worrying about the future.   For some reason, I have found that during the holidays, that is harder for me to do.

Every day is a challenge, a blessing and an opportunity.

As I sit here, typing this, my amazing son is sitting across from me memorizing James.  I am sitting in front of a warm fire, with Ginger napping close by.  Tom just left for Bible study.  My life is so full of blessings that even with my grief, those blessings make my heart full and thankful.

One year later, every day continues to be a challenge, a blessing and an opportunity.  May I find that I will feel His joy and peace in the upcoming week as we enter into another experience of "firsts" without Amanda.

Psalm 95:1-2
Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!