Amanda has pretty much stayed the same in terms of her energy level. We are not seeing any major improvement, but at the same time, thankfully she is not getting worse.
She made it to her ROCK lesson on Tuesday, the last one for this year. Sandra rode with her again in her lesson but unfortunately, Amanda didn't last more than twenty minutes. They started off playing Red light, Green light, which she was looking forward to. With another horse in the game, it made it that much more fun! After the game, as they were riding out to the outdoor Classic ROCK arena, she said her chest and side were hurting. She was so uncomfortable that she decided to end it early. While I was very proud of her for making that decision on her own, I was also sad for her that she didn't get to ride for the full lesson. We did go see Romeo before we left and would you believe that goofy horse has hurt himself AGAIN?! He sure is something else! Amanda got to love on him a little and that always brightens her day.
After ROCK, we came home so she could rest. As it has been from the very beginning, home is very important to her. It is where she finds comfort, recharges and can completely relax. While the morning started off with me concerned about her, once we were home and she settled in, I could see that she was feeling much better. So much better, I thought we might need to take advantage and go squeeze in one more swim this week while we had a free afternoon. As always, that was a great thing for her.
Wednesday was one of those days for me. I was in tears for much of the day. No specific reason. Nothing going on to cause concern. Reality hit me and I was so overwhelmed that it spilled over despite my efforts to stay in control. There are days it is not worth the fight, just bring on the tears. So most of my day was spent crying on Tom's shoulder and ducking into closets or the laundry room when the tears would come. I did spend some time at the school office in the afternoon to help with a project. I was thankful it was only office staff there! They are all used to my tears since I've shed plenty of them in the office through the years. I sure do love those ladies and appreciate how they love me in return.
I'm happy to say that I woke up feeling much better this morning. His mercies are new....
I am trying to keep the MRI in it's proper place as Monday gets closer. I'm trying not to allow myself to get anxious, but instead stay focused on how well Amanda is clinically doing and anticipate a great report. We can't do anything about the MRI, one way or another. What we can do is pray. In my head I know all the right answers and all the right ways to handle the stress and emotions. But seriously, sometimes the truth of what we are facing and dealing with simply crashes over me and feels so big.
I read a quote the other day, and I am paraphrasing the statement, but it said something along the lines of "There is no better place than the unknown. That is where we are closest to God." How true, but also how scary. For years God has been pulling me out of my comfort zone and to be honest, I don't like it very much. Whether it was at work with the different roles I filled, or when we moved churches from Lawler to Crestview, or when Tom went on a mission trip to Africa, and he flew for the first time, ever, alone...I was always being moved out of where I felt 'safe.' Over and over God has been prying my fingers away from the comfortable while slowly leading me into the unknown. And in every situation, He has been faithful.
Trusting God has been a constant choice throughout this journey. Complete and total trust is not always easy for me, but I don't know how I could walk this path without it.
Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
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| Good ole' Oakey |
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| Red light....Green light... |
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| A little competition makes everything more fun! |
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| And this is where the class ended... |
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| As we were watching Amanda, Shimmer tried to sneak up on me! That little rascal almost succeeded! |
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| Telling Oakey thank you for the ride. |
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| Amanda, Kristin and a little something we painted for her at the pottery shop. It was very small way to tell her 'Thank you for a great year!' |
So here is something I found pretty funny. I have taken our family
pictures since the kids were babies. You can see that they are used to
it because I kept being asked to 'Take a picture of this pose" from
Amanda and Brandon was more than happy to provide me with action shots so I could get plenty of bubble
pictures.
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