Team Watson: My 20 Year High School Reunion....

Imagine this conversation:
"It's so good to see you! You haven't changed one bit."
"Thank you! Great to see you as well."
"So tell me, what have you been up to these past 20 years?"
Breathless pause........"Well, I still live in Georgetown. I've been married for 17 years to a wonderful man and we have two beautiful children."........and then I pause again........
"Brandon will be 14 next month and our daughter Amanda is 10. We lost her to brain cancer last summer."

Brandon and Amanda - 2013

This past weekend for the first time, I was put in a position to make the decision on whether or not I should share our story with someone that had no idea of what the the past two years of my life has been like. Honestly, it was not really even worth questioning - I mean, how could I not share about my children? I had to - and I did......over and over and over throughout the evening...

This past weekend was my 20 year high school reunion. I graduated with a pretty amazing group of people. I didn't make my 10 year or 15 year reunion.   But even after little contact over the last 20 years, I was incredibly touched that so many classmates stepped up and showed support and encouragement during Amanda's battle with cancer and as we have journeyed through the grief in these past ten months since she died. I knew I wanted to be at the reunion to hug their necks and thank them through more than just text and email.

Somehow, I failed to think about those people that would not know our story. To be honest, I'm a little frustrated with myself for not seeing that coming. I didn't think about those people who live far away, or the ones that I am not friends with on Facebook or those who aren't even on Facebook. (Yes, there are still people like that out there! I'm married to one!) They would not have heard that our daughter, Amanda, battled brain cancer for 17 months before that heartbreaking yet blessed day last August when we said "not good bye, but see ya later alligator" to our beautiful, kind, spunky red-headed daughter as she passed from this life to more life. (A friend pointed that phrase out from Pastor Joy William's sermon she preached on Easter morning as she told a bit of Amanda's story. I like that phrase - carries so much meaning and truth!) It was a swirled combination of pain, grief and joy.

To say I am feeling the emotional drain from the weekend is an understatement. The tears and panic are never far from the surface over these past few weeks and the reunion has most certainly intensified it. Having been through many firsts, I know that this too shall pass and I tell myself that repeatedly.

In a very uncharacteristic "me" moment, however, I did have a "Life is not fair" breakdown last night as I couldn't stop the tears. As I cried, Tom held my hand, let me grieve and reminded me of how, even though life is incredibly unfair and painful, because of God's goodness and grace we still have so much to be thankful for. And he is right, I know that. It still felt very therapeutic to let the tears fall. The pain and hurt bleeds off and often lessens through the tears and then the exhaustion that comes afterwards brings a deep sleep that I need to regain my emotional footing.

Thomas, Brandon and I were blessed for almost eleven years with a daughter and sister that had a sweet soul beyond her years. The promise of seeing Amanda again one day is a promise we hold tight to.

If you haven't read the post about the day Amanda died and how God poured out His mercy and grace on our family, please take a moment and do so.

Any doubts about where I will spend eternity were put to rest that day. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for that blessing, even though it was the most painful day of my life. Answered prayers

So, to my classmates from the Georgetown High School Class of 1995, I'd like to say "thank you." Thank you for your show of support and encouragement since Amanda's diagnosis and passing, along with the heartfelt condolences on Saturday night that were shared. I wish I had thought to thank you in person during one of my "MC" moments on Saturday evening. (Come on now, y'all know I have never shied away from a microphone!)

Friends, until the next time, perhaps 10 years down the road at the next reunion, #EFND!
(Eagle Fight Never Dies)

Psalm 5:11-12
But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
    let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
    that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous;
you surround them with your favor as with a shield.