Those first hard days....

As I have re-read the CaringBridge sight, I have a multitude of feelings.  I am transported back to those days that were so hard and completely unreal.   I am also struck by how far Amanda has come physically.  This is a portion of the post from March 3:

Written Mar 3, 2013 6:24pm

What a day today has been!  We have been on an emotional roller coaster today.  Last night, we got Amanda out of bed a little.  It was so painful, both for her and for Tom and I.  She was in extreme pain and was coming out of the sedation from the MRI.  Put steroids on top of all that, and we had a very grumpy and mad Amanda.  Each time we got her out of bed, she screamed the entire time. We went to bed knowing that today was going to be a very long day.  It is important that we start moving her neck to begin the road to recovery.

We woke up on this day of worship probably at our lowest point yet of this entire ordeal. Not spiritually, for we know where our strength comes from, but mostly emotionally and physically.  Watching our daughter go through the pain she was in, knowing we had to push her through it and seeing the effects that the medication was having on her was breaking our hearts.  At that point, we knew that the days ahead were going to be a test of our strength.  And then we turned a corner.
She was started on a new medication to help relax muscle spasms and also two new pain medications.  We started to see our Amanda come back.  She has started to show her personality and was willing to help a little more with moving her body and trying to sit up.  She still fought us, and still cried and complained, but she also calmed down quicker.  We started therapy today.  She has shown movement in her left leg and she is trying to move her left arm and hand - please pray for complete recovery of her left leg and arm.  She has even taken a few steps with much assistance.
 
Her smile was back.

Those first few nights in ICU were torturous.  We didn't sleep much at all. Tom and I took shifts sitting by her bedside and sleeping was virtually impossible with the constant in and out from the nurses.  With all the medications she was on, it was like we were dealing with another child.  For a short time, I feared that this was the new Amanda.  Thankfully, we were quickly assured it was the hefty dose of steroids she was on.

I think, for me, the scariest point of her hospital stay was when they ran the EKG. Yes, even more scary than brain surgery.  This was yet another blow.  It was completely unexpected.  (I don't know that I really comprehended the seriousness of her surgery at the time and I think that is also a credit to all the prayers that were on our behalf.  There is simply no other way to explain that. Anyway, I digress.)  Her heart had been showing an irregular heartbeat, which they said was normal after brain surgery.  NORMAL?! I wanted to say - "Come on people, let's talk about what normal means! Nothing about this is normal!" But I didn't.  Instead, during that time, I just closely watched Thomas and took my cues from him.  I tried to stay calm as long as he was calm.  If he looked uncomfortable or concerned, then I panicked.  Good thing for me he is such a calm person by nature.  :)
 
I continue to be in awe of the health and healing we see in our daughter today compared to what we faced in those early days.  How amazing is our God and oh, how he has blessed us!

She doesn't remember much from ICU, but she does remember this puppy!

First time feeding herself after surgery.

Skyping with Brandon.  LOVE technology.

Lamentations 3:21-23
But this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: the steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.