This painful week - and its lifelong impact

I've written before how in our family, dates on the calendar aren't as important as the celebration themselves.  We have learned to become flexible due to Tom's schedule as a paramedic.  The important thing is that we celebrate the occasion, even if it is a day before or after.

As the "one year day" has gotten closer and closer, I've come to realize that this will be one date on my calendar that will not move.  Ever.  In my mind, August 6 will always be THE DAY we remember and celebrate Amanda's Heaven Day, as one friend so sweetly put it.  We will do this while observing the instructions she gave us on the day she died for us to place petals on her grave each year on the anniversary of her death. 

I remember reading a blog that another parent who had lost a child wrote.  In that blog it talked about how there are two dates that stand out in the minds of parents whose child has died.  The first is the day our child came into this world, and the second is the day our child left this world.  I can't help but wonder if the parent who wrote that has the peace and hope we have through our relationship with Jesus.

I will never loose sight that the moment Amanda slowly drew her last breath was the moment she was walking and running in perfection.  And now, she is living more gloriously and joyously than I can fathom.  She is waiting for the rest of us to join her in our eternal heavenly home. 

Underneath the pain, heartbreak, longing and tears, our foundation is strong by the hope we have in our Lord Jesus. That doesn't mean we don't feel the devastating loss of or child or that the emotions are not as painful, it just means no matter how hard the days are or how dark the moment is - the love and peace of Jesus Christ is able to soothe the sorrows from this broken world we live in. 

For the rest of my life, I can't imagine this week not being a painful reminder of what we lost - our vibrant, beautiful red-headed girl and what we have to look forward to one day.

As I sit here tonight, I honestly don't think these days will ever get easier. 

Hope.  Peace.  Longing for eternity....and so grateful that I have God's truths to cling to in these times of heartache.  

"Mom, you should be singing and rejoicing like they are."  That day she told us over and over that we shouldn't be sad but that we should be singing and rejoicing because that is what they were doing there.  She then said, “The gates, they're opening!”  “It's beautiful. It's just like you said Dad.” 

One day baby girl....one day....I will see you again.

All Of Creation (Even So Come)" (click on the title to hear this beautiful song)

All of creation,
All of the earth,
Make straight a highway,
A path for the Lord,
Jesus is coming soon.

Call back the sinner,
Wake up the saint,
Let every nation,
Shout of Your fame,
Jesus is coming soon.

Like a bride,
Waiting for her groom,
We'll be a church,
Ready for You,
Every heart longing for our King,
We sing...
Even so come,
Lord Jesus come.

There will be justice,
All will be new,
Your name forever,
Faithful and true,
Jesus is coming soon.

So we wait,
We wait for You,
God we wait,
You're coming soon. 

Like a bride,
Waiting for her groom,
We'll be a church,
Ready for You,
Every heart longing for our King,
We sing...
Even so come,
Lord Jesus come.

Amanda's beautiful red crepe myrtle blooming at the school.