A new slideshow as I wrap up this week......

I wanted to let you know - I am doing okay.  The simple truth is that I am a mother who is about to hit the one year date of the death of her precious  ten year old daughter, so there are going to be those heartbreaking, painful, sobbing kind of days.  But God is good.  His mercies are new every morning. He never runs out of those mercies, so I will keep drinking them in, and with faith and hope, I know I will get through each day, no matter how difficult that day is.

July 2014

The morning after my last post, I woke up humming a song that we had sung in church on Sunday night.  This song has deep meaning for me because in 2012, both while Tom was preparing to go to Africa and while he was there, it played often on KLove.  I would often find myself singing it throughout the day.  The song is "I'm Not Home Yet" by Building 429.  Part of the song says:

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

When the earth shakes I wanna be found in You
When the lights fade I wanna be found in You

The feedback and love that came pouring in after my post on Monday was incredibly humbling.  Many people have been in touch with me these past few days checking in to see how I am doing.  I am grateful for the encouragement and support.

Tuesday was a new day filled with God's mercies.  That is what allows me to pour out my grief on those incredibly painful days.  I realize it may be hard and a little concerning to read, it is extremely healing and cleansing to let it out.

So if we meet and I am laughing and smiling, rejoice with me that it is a good day.  That doesn't mean that I am not thinking of Amanda; it simply means that the memories are sweet ones and I am able to smile. And if we meet and there are tears, that's okay too.  Every day is new, every day is filled with memories and that is exactly how I want it.   However, one thing remains the same, good or bad day, the pain never goes away.

My latest therapy has been making a slideshow for our Double A family at the Double A Ranch in Uvalde, TX.  We have sweet, cherished memories with a group of very special people.  I hope you enjoy it. 

Amanda and our Double A family