A very rough night one...

Amanda loves this picture and asked that I put it on the blog.  It seems Ginger couldn't decide where she wanted to be...

This is how they ended up going to bed.  :)

Oh, what a night. There was a slight delay in getting one of Amanda's anti-nausea medications to the pharmacy, so we figured we could give it to her this morning with no problem.  She has never had a problem with getting sick this early in chemo, so we thought we would be fine. Wow, were we wrong! Our poor girl was up sick last night for two hours. There is nothing as painful or can make you feel as helpless as not being able to do anything for your child but sit by and watch them go through something like that. And then on top of it, to feel terrible thinking "If only..."

Our night started with a family prayer to officially begin this treatment cycle and we all did our best to encourage her as she started taking her chemo medicine.  She takes her chemo in pill form at home in the evening for five days.  As I have mentioned in the past, it is always a struggle to get her to take the chemo simply because she knows how it will make her feel and last night was no different. 

Since it was her first night of chemo and she asked so sweetly, she slept on the twin pull-out sleeper chair we have in our room; and am I so thankful she did!  We were able to be right there as she woke up sick.  

It was a long night, both physically and emotionally, but even in times like that, we still experienced God's love as He shone through our daughter.  At one point, as Tom and I were sitting next to her, doing our best to comfort, she said, "Dad, would you please pray that I won't get sick again? I have already prayed twice, but I would like you to."  Then after the prayer, she said, "I know God is putting me through this for a reason." Oh, how indescribable it is to hear your child acknowledge God's sovereignty in a moment like that.  It is in those bright moments during the dark times that forever impact you.

After a warm bath and unfortunately a little more sickness, she finally drifted off to sleep.  I didn't sleep well after that, but instead found myself in the place of not being able to pray any words, but instead to just cry out. True to His promise in Romans 8:26, God's peace and comfort found me there.  Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Today has been a day of quiet and rest.  Thomas and Brandon are off on Brandon's first youth retreat weekend with our church.  They will leave this evening.  Tonight will undoubtably be another difficult one when it is time to take her medicine. Thankfully, she knows the medicine she took this morning has worked in the past and should prevent a repeat of last night.  I hope that she remembers that tonight and will not allow herself to become anxious!

A few specific prayer requests as we continue chemo this week: 

• Pray that Amanda would sleep all night tonight without any incident. 
• Pray that she continues to eat and drink like she needs to. 
• Pray that Thomas and Brandon will be able to go and have a special time together this weekend without worrying too much about us girls.  All we have planned is to snuggle, watch movies and read!
• Pray that we will continue to see his miraculous healing in Amanda's life. 
• Above all, join us in praying that God will be glorified through our lives in this journey. 

Amanda loves to fall asleep to music, so we had our "Traditional Country Hymns" Pandora station on throughout the night.  No better place to help keep away those thoughts that tend to assail me at night than through the comforting words of scripture put to music. 

Proverbs 30:5

Every word of God proves true;
    he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.

'Tis So Sweet To Trust in Jesus

1. ’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to take Him at His Word;
   Just to rest upon His promise,
   And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
   • Refrain:
     Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
     How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
     Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
     Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
2. Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to trust His cleansing blood;
   And in simple faith to plunge me
   ’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
3. Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just from sin and self to cease;
   Just from Jesus simply taking
   Life and rest, and joy and peace.
4. I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
   Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
   And I know that Thou art with me,
   Wilt be with me to the end.