We made it - day five!

We have made it to day five.  While she will still feel poorly for a few days, at least we will be done with the medication!  So thankful for that.   

With cycle five complete, we are now setting our sites on the half-way mark of her chemotherapy treatment!  As I mentioned on Saturday, to celebrate this milestone, we have revamped the Team Watson shirts.  The new shirts will be black with the Team Watson logo in neon green.  All the information is below, but in a nutshell, you can email your order to Teamwatsontshirt@centurylink.net and include your name, shirt size and the best phone number to reach you at.  Payment will be due at pick up.  The shirts will be ready for delivery the week of December 2 which is also the week she will begin her sixth chemo treatment.  What better way to celebrate than to add some neon green to your day? :)

Today, Amanda and I have actually had a pretty productive day.  Even though she has been feeling on the blah side, we managed to get a math lesson in (so thrilled about that) and, for the first time in a long time, she took a nap!  Wonders never cease.  My kids have never been the napping kind, so anytime they sleep during the day, I am always a little suspicious.  She did tell me, however, that she didn't sleep good last night and was up a lot.  Put chemo on top of that and I am not at all surprised that she fell asleep.  Now, how she goes to bed tonight is the big question!  The nap, however, seemed to knock her a little off schedule and she wasn't feeling up to feeding today.  I must say, I was very surprised!  Up until now, she hasn't missed a day at ROCK, even while on chemo.  Thankfully, it is not that she is feeling terrible, but just tired and "blah."  That pretty much describes how she has felt all day today: "tired and blah."

So as our evening winds down, Amanda will take her final dose tonight and cycle five is officially done!  I'm just going to let that fact soak in.  For whatever reason, these past five days have felt very "big" and this feeling of completion is simply too good to put into words. 

Philippians 4:4-13

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

 I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity.  Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Cycle Five - Day Four

With day four behind us, we are gratefully looking to day five and the completion of cycle five. 

After a rocky night one and day two, Amanda seems to have improved this weekend as far as how she is feeling.  It is good to see her actually getting out of bed and spending a little time outside enjoying the beautiful weather this afternoon.  With her chemo medication already taken and her tucked in bed, it is a good feeling to know that she is down to one more dose for this cycle.

The gift incentive has proven to be a positive motivator and I wish I had thought of it sooner.  Although, I have a feeling that coming up with gift ideas may be challenging considering we have 7 more cycles to go!  Oh my!  It's worth it because it makes the entire situation take on a different feeling.  Excitement and anticipation are very strong feelings and overpower the feelings of apprehension and fear.  Tonight she was a champ and took the pills in record time.  We have experienced some incidences where taking medication has drawn out over a thirty minute period, so taking medication in under five minutes is always a huge success in my book! 
 
Oh, what amazing lessons our family is learning through these various situations.  This past week in particular, I have had the awesome privilege of hearing Amanda pray out loud for courage or strength to get through something she is struggling with.  That is such a special and sweet experience.  While there is so much I don't understand, the one thing I am sure of is that we serve a mighty God that loves us.  Our family has so much to be thankful for.

Job 37:5-6
God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways;
    he does great things beyond our understanding.
He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’
    and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’  

Cycle Five - Day Three

Amanda had a great night of sleep last night and woke up feeling better than yesterday! Praise God!! So thankful that she got a good night's sleep.  My plan with the gifts is working great. I am enjoying it as much as she is. :)

I am currently having a fun and eventual day shopping. To be honest, I'm not sure what Tom and the kids are up to.  :)

In celebration of Amanda's half-way mark in her chemotherapy treatment, we are revamping the Team Watson shirts for another shirt order. 

This will be a one time order and ordering will begin next week for a two week period. The shirts will be ready in time for her first day of the sixth round of chemo, which is the first week of December.  More details to come next week, but the price for each shirt will be ten dollars. 

We are so excited to have this goal in sight!! 

Cycle Five - Day Two

Well, even with all the meds on our side, Amanda still had a rough night last night.  It was better than what we experienced last cycle, but still not what we want her to go through.  Despite that, she woke up with a good attitude today and it has continued throughout the day.  I sure do love that girl.

I can tell that after that kind of a start, my idea might be the only thing that gets us through each night.  I got this idea from Tom's mother who gives us stocking stuffers each year for Christmas.  Ten days before Christmas, we get to open a small gift, a "stocking stuffer."  It is a fun way to count down the days until Christmas morning.  So I took that idea and we are going to use it for her chemo treatments.  We have five small gifts, nothing big, just a little something, and each night she gets to pick a gift after she has taken her medication.  Since Amanda really enjoys getting gifts and opening presents, I think (and hope!) this will work very well for her.  

Tomorrow is a day that I look forward to each year - my annual Christmas shopping day with my mom and sisters.  We start first thing in the morning and go until it's bedtime.  I can't wait.  Tom and the kids will have a great day together at home.  Knowing them, the day will be filled with games, game and more games.

With the day coming to an end, it's time to go give Amanda her medication.  She is in the other room, apprehensive and dreading it.  I'm praying for strength for her and that I will have the spirit of encouragement and calmness to help make the process smooth and easy.  

Day two is about to be behind us, and on to day three.

Cycle Five - here we come!!

Four weeks goes by very quickly.  It's hard to believe that we are already here, ready to start cycle five of chemo.  Ready or not - day one is here!

With the cold snap and Amanda heading into chemo, Tom wanted to take her hunting for the big buck this week.  They saw plenty of deer, but not the big one they were hoping would come out.  Even without bringing anything home, I know they had an evening of making great memories together.

Yesterday, Amanda had her lesson at ROCK.  Despite the wet, cold weather, she was ready to ride!  Romeo wasn't available so Amanda rode Dude again. (Are you saying it? Romeo, O Romeo?)  She was perfectly happy, even without Romeo.  You can't go wrong with Dude. 

Sandra Jo was there to join Kristin as Amanda's side walker.  She had such a good time with these ladies.

These two pictures amaze me. I remember the day we came home from the hospital. She couldn't even use her left arm.  Now look at her!  

The mighty hunters.......and Ginger

Our appointment was very early this morning.  I think today's appointment was the quickest one to date.  Labs were great, our visit with Dr. Harrod was short and sweet and we were off to the infusion room in record time.  That was a good thing since Amanda wanted to be on time for her lesson at ROCK today!  Thankfully, we had her Emend with us, the powerful anti-nausea medication she takes with her chemo med, ready for her to take at Dr. Harrod's so that we don't have a repeat of last time.  Getting her to take that medication was a little challenging, and I fear what the next five nights might be like.  I have, however, come up with a plan that will hopefully provide good incentive for her to take the pills every night without too much fuss.  I'll let you know how it goes as we progress through the week.   Please pray specifically that she will not have fear or anxiety as she takes her chemo medication each night. 

Amanda is continuing to learn the basics of riding a horse on Thursdays.  Lessons on Thursdays are much more laid back for her giving her more freedom and independence on the horse.  She loves it.  What a great way to kick off  her week of chemo by starting it with a ride on our favorite Wild Mustang, Freedom.

She never knows what she will get to help with! Here, she is helping Ms. Judy with another horse before her lesson.

Picking out her tack for Freedom

Look at her riding independently!

Amanda, Freedom and Callie Rae, one of the amazing Physical Therapist Assistants at ROCK

Love

Our next MRI should be at the end of this month.  As with each MRI, there is always the anxiety that I personally face; the unknown that gets me.  I know, I know - I constantly tell myself "be anxious about nothing" but I still find myself going there.  What can I say?  I'm a work in progress!  Seeing her doing so well and active is a great encouragement for me.  At the same time, it sometimes makes it hard for me to see her that way and know just how sick she really is.  It is a weird state of mind I often find myself in.  Since her chemo dosage has been lowered, I have to admit that I am ready to see a good report.  Call me crazy, but I want that visual that the medication is still doing it's job, even at a lower dose.   Better yet, let's continue to pray for a miracle.  How awesome would it be that there is no sign of the tumor at all?!

Luke 18:27
Jesus said, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

Tuesday at home

Yesterday morning, Amanda had physical and occupational therapy, and once again I managed to schedule it during the time she is on the low side of her counts and feels yucky.  Despite that,she received another positive report.  Amanda continues to improve and get stronger on her left side.  What a huge praise.  After therapy, we came home and she rested for a couple of hours before we went to feed at ROCK.  It was very low-key, but she enjoyed her time there as always.  Today is a day with nothing planned, and that is a good thing since she is not feeling well.  I think tomorrow will be another day of resting, me doing a lot guessing on when and how much to push and of course, her highlight of the day will be ROCK and Romeo.  

This past Sunday, for the first time in a long time, our entire family was able to attend morning and evening services.  I find that I now worship on a different level.  The words in the music and sermons are more alive to me than ever before as my heart is raw and open before God.  There is something about being in community and worshiping together that is incredibly uplifting and encouraging and can’t be accomplished any way else.   With Amanda starting chemo this week, she and I will miss this coming Sunday, but you can be sure that I will listen to the sermons on our church website and still worship, even though it will be in our home.  

I am still in a place that every day, and lately it seems like every hour, I have to constantly remind myself that God is in this.  God has a purpose and a plan for what we are going through.  While it is painful and simply exhausting, my need for total dependency on God becomes more evident each day.  I know without a doubt there is no way I can function within this journey on my own ability.  

2 Corinthians 4:6-9

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Then in verse 16 - 18:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I often look back at how we lived before Amanda’s diagnosis.  Our family was traveling down the path of becoming involved in missions overseas.  We were growing in our faith here in our home.  I went through each day and took so much for granted.  There is that part of me that wants to go back to the way it used to be.  But when you have been radically taken to the point where you realize you really have no control, when you experience being hard pressed but not crushed, then you are forever changed.  There is no going back.  How we allow it to change us is the question.  So my focus daily is to not lose heart; to find hope and joy in each day; to soak up the laughter and the tears; fix my eyes on the eternal and to understand that His mercy is new each morning so I must do my best not to worry about the future.  That is so much easier to say than to do.    

 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Freedom and today's appointment

Thursday was a relaxed day, allowing Amanda to rest up prior to our afternoon which started with her lesson at ROCK on Freedom.  She had a great riding lesson, getting to ride without a lead rope and a horse handler and also trotting.  She even posted while she was trotting and did really well!  That evening, we worked the first shift at the Fall Festival at Crestview and the kids made the rounds, enjoying all the festivities.

Today we went to Dell for her weekly labs, and it was a long morning.  We left right after dropping Brandon off for school and arrived early.  We arrived at 8:40, and her appointment wasn't until 9:30.  We seem to be really good at getting there early!  Once we were in the office, they got us back on time, but as 10:00 came and went with no sign of anyone on our team, we started to wonder if they were even expecting us!  Finally, we heard our nurse and as she came in, she explained that our appointment with Dr. Harrod wasn't until 1:00 and that they had all been over at the hospital.  Obviously there was some type of miscommunication when we made the appointment, but at that point, there wasn't much we could do about it.  Despite the confusion, labs were finally drawn and we started her transfusion. When it was all said and done, we didn't see our doctor today, but with everything going well, that was okay.  

This week, her numbers are the highest they have ever been during the third week of a cycle.  Wahoo! With the fatigue we have seen this week, I really expected her platelets to be low, but they were high, so I was pleasantly surprised.  Even though she was anxious throughout the appointment, all in all everything went smoothly.  

After the labs today, all expectations are we will begin cycle five next Thursday. 

This was sent to me by a dear friend this morning.  She had no way of knowing just how much I needed to read this today, but I shouldn't be surprised!  God's timing is always perfect.

November 1, 2013

God's Complete Control

by Charles R. Swindoll

    God is our refuge and strength,

    A very present help in trouble.

    Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change

    And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;

    Though its waters roar and foam,

    Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. . . .

    The LORD of hosts is with us;

    The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah. . . .

    "Cease striving and know that I am God."

    —Psalm 46:1–3, 7, 10

Quiet our hearts, dear Father, and in so doing, remind us that You are sovereign—not almost sovereign but altogether sovereign. Nothing occurs in our lives that has not been masterfully planned and put together by You, our eternal God. Help us to enter into the truth of Psalm 46:10 personally and consistently. May that result in being still, enabling us to discover that You are God. As we cast our cares upon You, knowing You care for us, release our stress.

We entrust our concerns to You today . . . large and small, new and nagging. We long to experience peace-filled living by stepping off this treadmill called pressurized living. We pray that Your mighty presence would take the place of the stress, the demands, the struggles, the mess we've created. We ask that You would give us Your shalom—Your peace—like we've never known it before. We deliberately choose to trust You and to rest in You.

In the name of Jesus. Amen.

See also Psalm 34:4; Proverbs 16:3; Jeremiah 17:7; Philippians 4:19

    Nothing occurs in our lives that has not been masterfully planned by our God. —Chuck Swindoll

Excerpted from The Prayers of Charles R. Swindoll, Volume 2, Copyright © 2012 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Amanda just told Judy that their legs were the same length. :)

Learning how to adjust and know what length the leather on the stirrups should be.

Lead rope removed, her riding pattern being explained...

....and off she goes!

She loved riding on her own!

Trotting away!

Telling Freedom "Thank  you, see you next week!"