The good week continues...

This has been a wonderful week.  Amanda has had more spunk in her personality this week than I have seen in awhile.  While she has been a little more guarded with her activity level and is conserving energy as she needs to, her 'get up and go' has still been great.   Yesterday we had a full day at home with a productive day of school work.  Brandon had a football game after school and she felt up to going to campus a little earlier than usual and even going out for dinner afterwards. 

With today being her most favorite day of the week, the poor girl had a rough night, but as it tends to go, she began feeling better as the day went on.  By the time her lesson at ROCK came around, she was doing much better, if for no other reason than to be there!  Today she rode Cash.  He is a retired race horse and is TALL!!  My gracious, what a change from Miss Piggy to Cash.  For her ride today, we went a little more conservative and had Amanda practice reigning Cash in the direction she wanted him to go as she rode on the Heroes Trail outside.  No trick riding today! She rode western and loved every minute of it.  After the lesson, the girls made home made trail mix as a snack to enjoy at upcoming lessons.  Without a doubt, it was a gorgeous day for riding horses at ROCK.

I don't know if you are like me, but I have several devotionals and books that I am currently reading.  It seems like my devotionals are spread throughout the house so no matter what room I am in, there is one handy to pick up and read.  Over the past few days, some have hit so close to home it is as if that day was written just for me.  A few examples:

From Streams in the Desert:
Worry only destroys the effectiveness of lives that would otherwise be useful and beautiful.

And wherever you find the widespread fog of trouble and the mist of sorrow, you always find emerald green hearts that are full of the beautiful foliage of the comfort and love of God.

From Jesus Calling:
Be willing to follow wherever I lead.  Follow Me wholeheartedly, with glad anticipation quickening your pace.  Though you don't know what lies ahead, I know; and that is enough!

Accept each day just as it comes to you, remembering that I am sovereign over your life.  Rejoice in this day that I have made, trusting that I am abundantly present in it.  Instead of regretting or resenting the way things are, thank Me in all circumstances.  Trust Me and don't be fearful; thank Me and rest in My sovereignty. 

I peeked at tomorrow's and the opening sentence is:
Trust Me enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them. (That just screams - "Listen up, Sandy!")


As I prepare for bed, I am once again weary from the day.  It surprises me how exhausting each day is.  I have come to the conclusion that a lot of it comes from my constant care and observation of Amanda.  It is emotionally draining to be on continual watch while at the same time doing my best not to hover or smother her.  I think the effort of hiding what I am doing is where the exhaustion really comes in!

Despite tomorrow's appointment and the question looming over me of whether or not she will start chemo, tonight I am full of thankfulness.

I just sat and listened to Brandon recite Isaiah 40:15-31 from memory.  He is doing extremely well in school and is enjoying football tremendously.  Amanda has had a good week, both physically and emotionally and I have the privilege to be with her each and every day.  I am blessed to be married to my best friend who loves the Lord with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his mind. 
My life is blessed.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

Fun day, Monday

I continue to be amazed at Amanda's progress and her attitude.  Today was a wonderful day.  This past weekend, she and Brandon spent the night in Temple with Tom's parents and two of their cousins.  They played hard running, playing tag, climbing rock walls and swinging.  She pushed herself and they had very little sleep.  For me, that sounded like a recipe for a long, painful day today.  I was wrong!!  Amanda slept in a little late, but she got up and off we went to physical/occupation therapy this morning.  Her physical therapist, Cindy, was amazed at much improvement she saw from last month.  Honestly, so was I!  I just didn't know what to expect because I doubt myself on how hard to push her, when to make her do things and when to back off - so I was thrilled with that report.  Then, we got the same report from her occupational therapist, Jessica, as well.  She said it seemed that Amanda's strength in her hands have improved and that was a joyful surprise as well.  All the while, for most of the hour and a half session, Amanda chatted happily about various things that have been going on - mainly about this past weekend and her time at ROCK.   Because of how I anticipated she would wake up, I was a little surprised by her upbeat and perky mood.  Shows you what I know!

Amanda and Cindy

Jessica and Amanda - working out her arm.....and Amanda talking the whole time!

Are you sure this is actually work? Looks more like play!

We came home so Amanda could rest and do a little school work, then we were off for our Monday trip to ROCK to help feed.  Today, I started off mucking the stalls, but then switched to sweeping.  All I have to say about that is my hands are soft and I am out of shape.  As always, being out there is such a relaxing, fun and rewarding time.  Amanda worked hard feeding the horses today! Pulling a wagon full of horse feed is no easy task for such a small girl.  I love to watch her determination.  We decided our reward for working hard today was hanging around and watching Leslie walk the horses in from the pasture to their stalls.  It is so fun to see the various breeds and try to guess what each one is as they come by.  Amanda and I are determined to learn each horse and their name. We stayed long enough to make sure we saw Jody brought in, but by then, it was obvious Amanda was starting to fade just a little, and I was ready for a shower!!

Starting the day off - getting the stalls set so she can start to feed.

Even some of the horses have to take medicine!

Following directions is essential while feeding - each horse has a different "menu"

Traffic jam!

The horse we were waiting for - Cash and Jody!

Brandon woke up this morning feeling miserable, chest hurting and all the symptoms of something yucky coming on, so he was quarantined to his room for the day, but thankfully, he is feeling much better tonight and we don't anticipate it being anything that hangs on.

As we look to the week ahead, in my mind I don't feel like it is a busy one, but we do have a full schedule.  Brandon has two football games this week, Amanda has ROCK on Wednesday, her appointment with Dr. Harrod on Thursday followed by piano, then the boys have a retreat with church this weekend.  Hmmm, sounds busier now that I have it all written it down.

Please pray that Amanda's platelet count will stay high enough that we can begin chemo this week!  That would be just another step in the right direction for her.

What a surprising and delightful day.  As the evening has come on, we have all felt the exhaustion settle in.  Looking forward to a good night's sleep and praying for another great day tomorrow!

Psalm 118:24

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

She got to ride today!

1 Chronicles 16:8-10

Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done. 

Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.

Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.

Today I feel like I walked around in kind of a daze, like, I am trying to regain my footing while still in awe of the goodness of God.  I want to tell every person I come into contact with what amazing results we got yesterday.  But that would be weird.  I am so exhausted, yet thankful and still rejoicing over how well treatment is progressing.

As we look to next week with the possibility of her actually starting chemo during her fourth week, it completely messes with my mind.  Since the shot she received last week gave her white blood cell count such an amazing boost and her chemo medication dosage was actually reduced by 25% due to her body's sensitivity to it, there is the chance that her counts will be good enough to start chemo at that four week mark as our original treatment plan indicates.   I find this whole situation another reminder to me that I have absolutely no business trying to schedule or plan anything.  I wonder how many times will I say that?!


Since Amanda missed her riding day yesterday, we were given the opportunity to make it up today.  Yeah for her!  A huge thank you to Ms. Judy and her team at ROCK for making it happen.  Yesterday was a long day for Amanda and being able to tell her that she would get to ride was such a joy for me.  Despite her love for Miss Piggy, because of Amanda's long legs, she has decided to try out some of the other horses to see if they are easier to ride.  Today, she rode Jody.  Jody was donated by the Corps of Cadets Calvary Unit from Texas A&M.  Whoop!  He even has the Corps haircut.  :)  See if you can tell in the pictures.  There are several more horses she would like to try, but Jody did really well for her today and she already has a soft spot for him. We will have to see how this all pans out over the next few weeks.  This is so fun for her and I love watching her!  This is quickly becoming my favorite time of the week as well. 

Yep, there she goes, riding backwards again!

Stopping the horse, then starting him right back works on her core balance

She is sprawled across the back of Jody on her stomach.  Funny to watch, but a great stretch.

Meet Jody!

Look what she is doing!! On her knees, arms out, while the horse is moving.

Just look at her beautiful smile. 

After that, Amanda had piano lessons and continues to amaze!  She is playing so well considering how long it has been since she has seriously practiced.  From there, we had a treat of an afternoon swim.  It was a great way to end the day, and hopefully we wore her out just enough that she will sleep really well tonight.  

For the past few days, this song has been rolling through my head, so, being the music lover that I am, I thought it was a great way to end tonight.

 

How Can I Keep From Singing

There is an endless song, echoes in my soul

I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come, I am holding on

To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise

How can I ever say enough, how amazing is Your love

How can I keep from shouting Your name

I know I am loved by the King and it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes in the darkest night

For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You knowing You'll see me through

And sing the songs You give

How can I keep from singing Your praise

How can I ever say enough, how amazing is Your love

How can I keep from shouting Your name

I know I am loved by the King and it makes my heart want to sing

I can sing in the troubled times, sing when I win

I can sing when I lose my step and I fall down again

I can sing 'cause You pick me up, sing 'cause You're there

I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord, when I call to You in prayer

I can sing with my last breath, sing for I know

That I'll sing with the Angels and the Saints around the throne

How can I keep from singing Your praise

How can I ever say enough, how amazing is Your love

How can I keep from shouting Your name

I know I am loved by the King and it makes my heart

I am loved by the King and it makes my heart

I am loved by the King and it makes my heart want to sing

Praising God for a Good Report!

What an emotional, but glorious day!  Today's results are nothing short of a huge Halleluiah!  As we walked back to the exam room, I was watching everyone trying to take cues and read body language, but it wasn't until Dr. Harrod came in that I finally couldn't contain myself any longer and asked "Well?! How do they look?!"  A smile and a thumbs up was enough to at least allow myself a huge sigh of relief.  Walking down the hall to the room where we see the scans, I couldn't wait for a glimpse at the screen.  Amanda chose to hang back in the exam room and watch a movie.  So as we sat down and looked at the progression of scans I was amazed. 

Yesterday, it was seven months since Amanda had brain surgery and today, we sat looking at the progression of how God has blessed our family.  There has been continued improvement!  The tumor is smaller than two months ago.  As I have mentioned, unless they are surgically removed, brain tumors never completely go away, there will always be a "scar" there.  So we may always see evidence of the tumor.  As I have shared, I have been praying that Amanda's will dissolve, completely, and if things continue the way they are, we just may see an answer to that prayer!  As Dr. Harrod sat there and took the time to answer questions, explain what we were looking at and review the scans, I was just in awe.  It was a moment that I can only explain as joyful. 

Amanda's labs came back good.  Her white blood cell count is high, which is exactly what we were anticipating since she was give the shot last week to do just that.  Her platelets have dropped since last week, but we are still in an okay place.  So we finished our visit today with Amanda receiving her monthly infusion of antibiotics and fluids, which I always welcome.  I was reminded today that in the world of oncology, no news is good news.  Had her scans come back with any concerning issues, we would have received a phone call to come in earlier.  That is a good thing to keep in mind for future MRIs. 

Amanda hanging out, getting her infusion

Amanda and sweet Dad giving her a piggy-back ride to the car

Even though it is is Wednesday, Amanda did not have a riding lesson because there are exciting things happening at ROCK.  They are adding on to the facility and due to construction, they have cancelled lessons for a few days.  You can imagine how disappointed she was, but our appointment went long today, so it was a good thing. 

Honestly, I am so emotionally spent tonight that I can barely think.  But my heart feels as if it could burst with joy and contentment.  Thank you for standing beside us through this journey.  We are praising God for what He has done, and are trusting Him for what He will continue to do.


1 Samuel 12:16
Stand and see this great thing that the LORD will do before your very eyes. 

Psalm 95: 1-3

Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord;
    let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.

Let us come before him with thanksgiving
    and extol him with music and song.

For the Lord is the great God,
    the great King above all gods.

While we are waiting....

We had a nice weekend.  Since Saturday was opening day for bow season, Brandon and Thomas went hunting and Brandon shot a deer with his bow.  It was great 30 yard shot and his love for bow hunting grows with each season.  It was very bittersweet for me that Grampy wasn't there to share in the excitement.  I suppose that will be the case with each new event and holiday.  Hunting season is always a favorite time of the year and Grampy has always been a special part of that.

Serious hunting going on here...

Well, the weekend has gone by and now it is Tuesday.  It hasn't been the easiest wait for results, but it hasn't been as nerve wracking as I anticipated.  Until yesterday. It hit me mid-day and once it started, it was hard to stop.  For whatever reason, it was simply a difficult day for me.  Amanda had a bit of a rough start to the day which only amplified my mood.  We did, however, accomplish our goals for school so I count that as a blessing.   It seems that we have moved into that time frame that Amanda is starting to feel poorly more often than feeling good.  Please pray that she will be able to have just the opposite - more times of feeling good than bad!

Amanda's motivating factor yesterday was feeding time at ROCK.  It turned out to be a good thing for both of us.  I found that a mindless physical chore like mucking stalls is very therapeutic for me.  Who knew?! Being outside on such a beautiful day doing some physical labor did wonders for me and was a great outlet to clear my head.  Amanda and Ms. Judy fed, then Amanda came and helped finish up the last few stalls.  With her counts so high last week, we still have the all clear for being out at ROCK without any restrictions.  As we move into the time frame when her numbers drop, that may change, but as for yesterday, we had a great time.  We did notice that she seemed to wear out a little easier than last week.  After feeding, we cleaned up and helped with a small craft job that Ms. Judy was working on to wrap up the day.  After one more walk to see the horses now that they were all in their stalls, we were off to pick up Brandon from football practice and wind down our evening.   (All photos courtesy of Maw Maw Smith. Talk about a picture taker!  We started calling her the paparazzi. :)  It was great that she was there though, that means I am actually in front of the camera for a change!)

A quick hello to Miss Piggy before the work began.

Time to get down to business.

Another day of feeding completed!  Now, the dirty work. :)

Who knew mucking could be so fun? It's all about who you are with while you do it!

She is one hard worker!

 

She started with a quick goodbye to Miss Piggy.

Talk about some serious hand washing.....

We made sure to wash up good before moving on to our next project...

Helping Ms. Judy put final touches on some goodies!  Amanda doesn't have to know this is great physical therapy. ;)

Tying a pretty bow is not as easy as it looks.

Plotting our plan....

Perfect execution! 

After a hard afternoon of work, time to kick up the heels and relax a little...

That brings us to today.  Amanda has started the day off a little on the rough side, but seems to feel better as the day has gone on.  Brandon has a game after school, one of my favorite things!  Then, finally, tomorrow - the big day.  Wednesday will start with an infusion appointment at 11:00, and we will see Dr. Harrod at noon for labs and the results of Amanda's MRI.  I don't know why I worry about the scans.  I can't do a single thing about them or change the outcome, yet I find myself still going to that place of worry.  Prayer is the single most essential thing I can do during a time like this.  Yesterday was spent with my "background music" on continually - in constant prayer and petition as I went about my day. Nothing helps me battle and overcome those emotions that at times are so strong and find peace and contentment.  Thank you for the messages of encouragement and prayers throughout this time of waiting.  I cherish them dearly.  

Psalm 33:20-22
We wait in hope for the Lord;
    he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
    for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
    even as we put our hope in you.