This weekend we spent a few days at the beach with dear friends and it was a wonderful getaway. As I sat in the sand and watched the waves roll in, the beauty and awesome power of the sea was not lost on me. Talk about feeling small! The scriptures above paint a beautiful word picture of the sovereignty of God.
I know that many of my friends have been worried about me this summer. Let me first and foremost say I am okay. Yes, I have pulled in to my family and primarily focused on the three of us. I have a good reason for that change and is has been extremely necessary. We have been talking about, wrestling with, meditating and praying over a decision that will take us on a new and exciting journey. And once we officially came to a decision, things have been quickly fallen in to place and to be honest, that is both exciting and a little overwhelming! So here is our big news - we are moving.
Sorry! I know, there is no easy way to ease in to that kind of news! We are moving about an hour north of Georgetown, but a little more on that later. As the three of us have prayed about this and as Thomas and I have considered the various angles that have impacted our decision, there are a few truths that have come out in our discussions.
First, you must know that this has been a hard decision. Many of you have walked closely with us in the darkest of valleys and we will always be grateful for the support, love and encouragement we received in an abundance of ways. We don't take that support lightly nor will we ever forgot. We love our community, we love our home, we love Grace Academy and our church family, but to be blunt, a fresh start is going to be incredibly good for me. Saying "fresh start" feels almost like I am trying to forget the past. That is simply not true, but to stay where we are has become harder than I ever imagined it would be. Amanda's memory in all the places we go is both comforting but also challenging for me to move beyond. So to fully live in each day and to take that next step in healing this change is important. Simply put, this move is that next step of healing for me. I am not leaving behind anything, I am merely starting the next chapter.
Another truth, God has blessed our family and we have seen firsthand how His story shines through the lives of His people. Even though there is a little fear and anxiety over the unknown that lies ahead, I'm not going to stop trusting Him at this point in our lives! We now find ourselves on the brink of a new adventure and I am filled mostly with excitement! (Trying to keep it honest - a little fear, a little anxiety and a whole lot of excitement...)
Another beautiful truth is that Amanda's life and story will go with us no matter where we live. Her life and legacy will continue to touch lives. I know that without a doubt. Amanda's life has not only changed those who knew her and followed her journey with cancer, but also those who will only know her from meeting our family and learning about her through our family. We will never stop talking about her. We will always be a family of four.
You are probably wondering where are moving to - we are moving to the small community of Crawford, which is about 30 minutes outside of Waco. Tom will keep his job with Williamson County and commute every third day and let me tell you - I feel for those people who make that length of a drive every day, twice a day! I will continue to stay at home but look forward to the opportunities that await me. With Brandon starting a new school in a little over a month's time, it is a huge blessing that things are happening as quickly as they are even though it has made life incredibly crazy and fast paced for us in the recent weeks. As I type this, the saw is whirring in the garage and the boys are busy finishing up odds and end jobs so we can sell the house. We are on the go all day with little time for anything else since we feel a need to be settled and getting acquainted with our new community as soon as we can. Have I said "big adventure" yet?!
Please pray for our family as we are on a bit of a adrenaline high at the moment. Pray for our trust to stay strong when we might doubt where our next step will take us. I know in my own personal life my faith has grown exponentially when God hasn't allowed me to see what my next step is. While that frustrates me to no end, it refines the need in me to be in control and reminds me that I must simply rely on the grace of God and know He will take care of us today like He has so many times before. I'm sure if you followed the blog during Amanda's treatment you saw me struggle with the need for control way too often in those days and I'm sad to say that is still an area I need to work on. I have a feeling that lesson will play out many times throughout the days in the near future.
This is not a goodbye. Technology allows friends near and far to stay connected. If we were sitting across from each other with a cup of coffee having this conversation, I would simply hug your neck and tell you that I will see you soon. Things may be hectic for awhile, but I'll touch base to let you know how we are settling in. Thank you for your continued love and support. Thank you for loving us well. I am grateful to have you in my life. So until we talk again, please keep us in your prayers.
Let the adventure begin!
Philippians 1:3-11
I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
